What changes are necessary to make now???

Hello everyone, long time no hear, huh?  Sorry about that.  I've had some strange goings on.  I've missed a lot of work again.  But I think things are looking up, finally.  I went to see my Dr. today and he's going to get me set up to get a new knee which will probably turn into 2 new knees.  He also set me up with a pain management Dr.  So, finally I'm looking for solutions instead of waiting for the changes to happen on their own.  This seems to be one of the most difficult things for me to do.  As someone who likes things to stay the same and usually is not very spontaneous, I've proud of myself for making the necessary moves to finally find myself at least able to live with some of this pain I feel.

I will be going on short term disability though, that's going to hurt but I think I'll get over it.  My older son has a good job, my daughter is about to start her second quarter in college and my youngest son might have a really good paying job beginning the first week of February.  Pray for them please.

One of the problems I have spiritually is the age old question......is God really good?  If the answer is yes, does that apply to me?  I've decided that I'm stuck in a rut and the only way that I can think of to get out of it is to ask Him to show me what it is he's trying to teach me.  If I don't then it seems I'm doomed to keep repeating old mistakes until I learn this particular task He wants me to learn.  Does that make sense?  Sometimes I feel so disconnected from Him.  My instincts tell me that it's my fault not His.  But it feels like I'm alone in all this.  Isn't it a little sad that the one being that can help me the most is the one I feel so disconnected from?

So, I'm asking you all to say a little prayer for me, to help me take the next step and learn from it.  I need to be accountable to ask each day, what would you have me learn today Lord?  I've never failed to get some sort of answer it just irritates me when the answer is usually something I need to change or fix.  It's almost always something I'm not seeing correctly.

Anyway,  I'm trying to keep my head up and just an FYI, my cell phone is out until taxes come in.  Sorry, but I'm always available through the net.  Until next time, take care of each other and don't neglect yourself!  Much love, Patty