Hello everyone, I hope you've all had a blessed couple of weeks. The weather is wonderful and it's a joy to go to my sisters to help her walk her two chiquaquas around a block or two. I'd call them THING 1 and THING 2, but the truth is, I truly enjoy these walks. One of these dogs is the dad to the other, literally. He is constantly trying to parent the younger and smaller dog. It's quite amusing. What isn't amusing is that now when I visit, they connect me to the walk, and a chiquaquas bark is highly annoying...lol.....what's a girl to do. Even though it's a painful process because of my physical pain and I pay for it later, it's still worth it.
The reason I bring up the dogs is to help explain the changes in the weather and how the leaves change and we know that cold weather is coming. And we need this, in order for spring to come again along with the new flowers and fresh grass and all the beautiful bird sounds....New life. It's all a circle, I know it sounds cliche but this particular week, not only did I witness it, I felt it. The bittersweet of having something really bad happen in the midst of tremendous joy. It's very difficult to keep perspective when your heart and your mind is so confused.
Two weeks ago today, I had a grandchild by my baby, my youngest. Two days after that, my ex-mother-in-law passed away. That would be the new babys great grandmother. I truly loved that woman. She taught me so much about parenting and taking care of a home. Most importantly, she loved me even when her son and I divorced. I think alot of it is because of my children. My children took their grandparents out of their shell. My kids were huggers and kissers and my husbands parents were not. My children taught their grandparents how to show affection. Don't get me wrong, my ex-husband was the youngest of nine children. But I think because we lived just behind them for the first six years or so, my kids and their grandparents became very close and it showed. Anyway, I loved her and I love my ex-father-in-law and I feel terrible for his loss. They were married more then 65 years. That in itself is amazing. I can't imagine the loss he must feel.
That's what makes this so bittersweet. My grandchild is the most amazing feeling I've ever had. He lays on my chest and sleeps and it is the epitome of peace. Through this small child I'm being taught about love and trust once again. These are feelings I've been hiding for some time. My life has been on hold for quite a while, but I can now feel those bonds of not trusting and not allowing myself to love someone other than my family slowly coming loose. I'm starting to feel whole again. I truly think it's because I'm relearning how to trust through the love and total dependence this baby has on others.
One life ends and another begins and summer is over and fall has begun and soon we will experience winter once again. And I will be stronger and so will my grandchild. I will be a better person because of what this little innocent baby is teaching me. I am so very grateful and thankful that I get to be a part of this entire experience. I am a grandmother and it is so very well with my soul.
Love each other and treat each other like you love each other. None of us are promised tomorrow. Anything can happen. So tell your loved ones that you love them, and visit them. Especially when they get older. I passed up an opportunity to spend more time with my ex-husbands mother and I regret that. Don't allow that to happen to you. Love one another. Until next time, love Patty
No comments:
Post a Comment