Good Morning Everyone,
Another day is upon me and once again I have much to say. :-) Today I have my grandson Pax coming. Once again my joy will be full. My arms, legs, body in general will be taxed, but my joy will be full. It makes me wish I was able to bond with my other 3 grandchildren like I've been able to bond with Pax and Emma. I hope they know that even though we're miles apart, I DO love them. We've never really been able to spend much time together. I digress, please forgive me. However, it does apply here. I'm talking about time. The time spent to develop a relationship is imperative in order for there to even be a relationship. Other than family. I have family I've never met. I can honestly tell you that through social media I've been able to get to know some of them a little....not near enough to suit me but, that's obviously not able to happen right now.
What about waiting? Time spent waiting for something we NEED to happen. I have been at the mercy of family this entire year. I've been told by my attorney that before the year is over, I will have my disability through Social Security. In the meantime, I'm still at the mercy of my loved ones. It's like being a child again without being able to play. Once again, a child with a grown up mind. During this "time" I've learned a lot about humility, forgiveness, picking my battles, dependence, patience, the difference between wants and needs, trust issues, you name it and I've battled with it this year.
It will come as no surprise when I say, I'm desperately looking forward to being able to care for my own monetary needs. Not having to depend on someone to get me to the store will be a huge blessing as well. You can safely assume, I'm anxious for this to be over. I have learned a great deal through this. I can't say that I'd do it the same if I had it to do over but, it has been very enlightening. One of the biggest lessons has been to depend more on my heavenly Father, actually my only father. He does provide for my needs. It's scary but, it has increased my faith in Him. Unfortunately, I'm also scared to spend too much time with Him. I'm afraid He'll tell me to "wait on His timing for my benefits to come through, He has more to teach me through this time". As if by avoiding the conversation, I don't have to know the reality that He is in control. I'm still fearful. Sometimes I think He thinks I can handle a gripload of troubling times, because there have been so many. How strong do I have to be? Or, how weak do I have to be? When will this be completed? I guess only He knows the timing for the best outcome.
Today I leave you with one of those verses that's more of a discouragement to me sometimes, but truth is truth and in Acts 1:7 "He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority;"" in verse 8 He goes on to tell of the power that will be made available with the coming of the Holy Spirit, but I think that verse 7 is true for most everything. Only He knows what is in store for any of us. I'm thankful He's on my side. Until next time, Be Wise, Be Kind, Be True. Love, Patty
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