How do I make others feel?

Hello Everyone,

I've been thinking a lot lately about the past. You know the old saying, "If I had a dime for everytime I _____, I'd be the richest person I know". Yeah, I could say that if I had a dime for every mistake I made I'd be a rich woman. But I'd be rich only in dollars. Our mistakes are what makes us grow. Unfortunately, I've grown both deep and wide.....humor......where would we be without it? Recently I found on facebook a song by Simon and Garfunkel that was redone by "Celtic Thunder's Keith Harkin and Colm Keegan". They are such handsome men, but more than that. They did the song better than the first time around. The song has always been one of my favorites, titled...."Sounds of Silence". If you get a chance, it's on Youtube also, you should listen to their version. You won't be disappointed.

It's easy to look at these guys and have that schoolgirl thing come up.....you know, the heart beats faster and you're wanting to listen to the song over and over again. Good grief, I'm 50 years old. I cannot go back and Lord knows I wouldn't even if I could. There is no way I would ever choose to start over. Even if I knew what I now know. The richest of lives, live in the mistakes. We grow more when things aren't going well. We grow more when things are bad, not good. I hate to think of a life without the children I have. I say that because if I had it to do over, I wouldn't have married my first husband. Hence, I wouldn't have the children I have. They'd be different and I'd have never had the chance to learn so much as they grew up. As we grew up. I think we did that together, me and my kids. I don't think I really went through my adolescent years until I was in my 30's.

I think it's important to remember the positive things that have occurred and not all the bad. I realize as my daughter's belly continues to grow with her daughter Emma, just how blessed I am. Somewhere in here I know I had a point. I guess when all is said and done, we should ask ourselves when we're dealing with a difficulty, "In five years, will this situation matter?". So many times we put a great deal of emphasis on how we feel and not on how we make others feel. I believe that is what I REALLY need to work on.  Until next time, remember, Be Wise, Be Kind, Be True, Love, Patty

The important things I leave behind

Good Afternoon Everyone,

The other day my youngest son Ben brought over my grandson to spend the day. Paxton, my grandson was getting tired and at 8 1/2 months wouldn't just close his eyes and go to sleep. So Ben does what any good dad would do. He put his son on his chest and walked around gently bouncing him. Paxton who is fighting this procedure was trying his best to stay awake by making noises that sounded like he was singing. It was beautiful. I told Ben that I was unable to get Paxton to sleep that way. He told me neither could anyone else. Then he said, "I love it". He loves being the only person that can put his son to sleep that way. I have never been so proud to be Ben's mother.

Then last night I have my daughter Mary and my other son Isaac over. It amazes me how they are growing up. Mary is pregnant with my granddaughter Emma and we are all anticipating her arrival mid September. I am so incredibly blessed to have my children close by. I get to babysit Paxton regularly and while it is difficult and I usually pay for it physically. He is worth it every step of the way. I guess I'm just feeling especially blessed today. And proud of what I have accomplished. I wasn't the best parent at all. My kids have done well despite the mistakes I made. They continue to grow every time I see them.

I saw this little thing on facebook about being careful what we tell ourselves because our brains will believe what we tell it and respond accordingly. That is so true. We are like computers, we can only give according to whats been given. If we feed ourselves with nothing but negative self talk, then we are only going to be able to accomplish what we believe about ourselves. Does that make sense? My sister and I were discussing this the other day and I wondered aloud what my true purpose was supposed to be before I went and screwed everything up. She reminded me that my choices were known long before I made them. I know this to be true. But, don't you ever look back and wish that The Lord would have intervened and told you that this choice would mess up the future that was planned for you? I know I wish I would have listened to that still quiet voice. He (The Lord) was there talking to me, I just didn't listen. I'm listening now! Unfortunately the past can't be fixed, but my future can be. My God is much bigger than my choices. He can take the stupid mistakes I made into beautiful works of art. I see this to be true in the lives of my children.

Today I leave you with one of my favorite verses in Phillipians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Until next time, Be Wise, Be Kind, Be True.....Love, Patty

Clean up that room, young lady!!!!

Good Evening Everyone,

I know it's a strange time for me to write a blog, but I guess I am strange, so there. Today, there was a time that I and someone else spent looking back over the years and the changes that have occurred. I thought a lot about my childhood and my oldest sister who is to this day my "go to" person whenever I need to straighten out my head. This blog was originally started because somewhere in this crazy head of mine, I actually thought I had some smalls pieces or "nuggets" of experience that I could share that might help someone gain perspective on issues they're having. Yeah, that's not exactly what's been going on lately.

Usually you can tell how healthy my head is by looking at the state of my living arrangements. Does that ever happen to you? I find that if my room is a mess, chances are.....so am I. If my space is cluttered, that usually means my mind is too. Maybe that's why I only have family around. LOL I consider myself an open book, but now I think that's overstated. I think I'm leaning toward the "can't touch me" individual who ends up lonely and angry with the world. That is not at all what I want. Hopefully there will be an easier way for me to have lasting peace. Perhaps I should spend more time with the Creator. That usually sets me in a firm place. Now, knowing this makes me wonder, why don't I go to Him more often? I guess I know the answer to that but it just seems so difficult sometimes. Why is the easiest thing sometimes the most difficult. Humbling ourselves in the presence of a holy God is not a difficult task, but where He leads us to after that, is a whole other blog.

I really don't have anything more to say, other than to remember John 13:34 "A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another." It sounds so simple, in the mean time, until we meet again, please remember to Be Wise, Be Kind, Be True, Love, Patty

I should just LET IT GO, right?

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I wasn't going to write a blog today, but I have something just spinning in my head and it HAS to come out, one way or the other. As an adult, I have friends, some male, some female. We can go months without speaking, some much longer. But, when we think of this person, we give a call or a shout out on social media sites, etc and say hello, how is everything going, we should grab some coffee and catch up sometime. This has not been a problem since I was in high school (obviously we didn't have the social media access of today).

I had someone this week block my emails and such because I didn't want to talk to them several times a day. It was only on the phone a couple of times the rest was all emails. I started to feel guilty because this person was acting like I was ignoring them if I didn't respond right away. Sometimes they had to wait a day before I would see the email, then respond. Definitely not 2 days, nevertheless, they took offense when I attempted to point this out. I may have overstated my problem, but basically I was feeling a little uncomfortable. It's too bad though. This person has a lot to offer in the way of friendship. I feel bad I was not able to fill whatever void they had.

The other issue just running through my head is that I am self-centered at times. It's something I'm trying to be more aware of and work on. I pray to have it pointed out to me when I do get caught up in myself. It's NOT like I think I'm all that or that my life experiences are any more difficult than the next persons. However, I can't walk a mile in someone else's shoes, only my own. I love getting on social media sites and look through what others have posted and it usually puts me back in line. Seeing what others struggle with is usually a humbling experience. Frankly, my shoes are more comfortable, because they fit my feet, ya know?

Today I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite verses in James 3:17 "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy." I wish to all of you who take my time to read my ramblings be blessed beyond measure even if I'm blocked by email. Be Kind, Be Wise, Be True, Love Patty

News everyone could use.......my thanks to "Dorkdad" whoever you are

Good Morning Everyone,

This is starting out to be a great day. I read something this morning that I'd like to share with you. These are 20 things every father should share with their daughter. I don't know who the author is other than "Dorkdad" but I truly believe they should be available for others to share with their daughters.

1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.

2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.

3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.

4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn’t fair, but it’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.

5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.

6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.

7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.

8) Learn to drive a stick-shift.

9) Get comfortable with power tools.

10) You don’t have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.

11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and they key players in both.

12) You don’t have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.

13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you’ll never have to “fit in”. People will come to you.

14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can’t remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?

15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don’t let anyone take something from you they can’t give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.

16) Feminie hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying “lalalalalalalala”. Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.

17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you.

18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let’s be clear: all that crap you do to “get out the door” is for everyone else’s benefit.

19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don’t forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.

20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.

-DD

I want to take the opportunity to thank Dorkdad for sharing these.  I loved it. I know it's past Father's Day but my dad's been gone for more than 40 years and don't think my daughter ever heard these. It's good for sons to read too......something they should know to share once they become a daddy to a little girl. 

Until next time, Be Kind, Be Wise, Be True, Love, Patty 

Trying to peek over the fence

Good Morning Everyone,

I don't think it's a secret that things have been difficult for me lately. There are so many changes happening all at once and most of the time, I have no idea what the next change will be. Or how those changes will effect me. I know that I should be more thankful than I am. I am thankful, very thankful. That doesn't mean that this year has been easy for me. I really dislike that I use this blog as my therapy. But, it is my therapy. I learned this at the first job I had working with people in crisis. I found that the more I helped others, the healthier I was becoming. This also has the opposite effect. When I isolate myself away from others, I'm not helping anyone or myself. Isolating makes my issues more obvious and painful. It really makes me wish I had some sort of interaction with the public so I am not just writing for writings sake. Do you know what I'm trying to say?

It's kind of like when they say that to forgive someone is not for the benefit of the one being forgiven, the benefit falls onto the person who does the forgiving. It is a sort of Karma, or what goes around, come around, or you reap what you sow. It's a thought that seems to transcend religion. Unless I'm mistaken, it's a belief that most "faiths" pretty much agree on.

Lately it feels like something is changing and I can't put my finger on it. There is a restlessness that is there yet I don't want to leave my apt. The extra something is not just effecting me. It seems to be touching everyone who visits for any amount of time. There's a heaviness and it just drains every bit of energy I have. I'm having difficulty enjoying any of the things I've enjoyed in the past. Yes I'm well aware that depression is basically what I just described. Hey I'm doing my part, I'm sharing my thoughts, I'm willing to help others if I'm physically healthy. Do you want to hear what's really horrible?? When I'm having one of these days when I can't use the restroom without looking like someone with narcolepsy......It's a good thing I don't know any drug users anymore, I think I would have a hard time saying no to that kind of energy. Thankfully The Lord protects me from myself. I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite verses in the Book of Ephesians 2:8-10 "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not as a result of works, that no one should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Until next time, Be Wise, Be Kind, Be True, love, Patty

Help I've fallen and I can't get up

Good Morning Everyone,

This has been a strange week. Have you been having a similar week? Friday I had a Dr. appt for a medication check and found out I've gained back the weight I lost when I first moved back to Blair so, yeah, that was exciting news. Then, since I don't have a washer and dryer I had taken a load of clothes to my sisters place to wash. I was carrying them outside to the car and basically tripped over a cat I was trying to avoid. Somewhere in that mess, I forgot all about the step coming out of her door and fell onto the concrete porch of hers. The weird thing is, the basket broke my fall and other than just basically setting off a fibromyalgia flare-up, there have so far been no bruising or anything. Which for me is amazing. I can bruise just thinking about bumping something.....clearly I'm joking but you get my point.

Anyway, this seems to be my week of disappointing people. My daughter got very upset with me when I refused to go to the E.R. or the walk in clinic to be checked out. I understand her frustration because she lost her grandmother due to the exact same circumstance.....falling while carrying a basket of clothes. So, I haven't seen or heard from my daughter for a couple of days. I'm hoping if I leave her be for a few days she'll forgive me for not following her advice. She was just worried and I understand that. I've also not been online a lot lately and therefore haven't written a blog in a week or so.....more disappointment. Then there is someone else that is upset with me and I honestly don't have any idea why. Now THAT is frustrating.

I haven't really been given a chance to just rest after my fall, so today that is my goal. I'm going to stay in my room, avoid the world and pray that I manage to not upset everyone again. So, if there is anyone who may or may not be expecting something from me today, I'm letting you know in advance, I probably will be letting you down today.

Before I close this post, I have a prayer request. My son and daughter in law are in need of a car since theirs was totaled in the hail storm. Please pray that they can get an affordable loan and a good reliable car. Thank you so much. I would like to leave you with one of my favorite verses in Psalms 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." I know it's not the first time I've used these 2 verses, but they are a couple of my favorite verses. Believe me when I say, that most of the time, the verses out of the bible I share, are verses I myself need to hear. Until next time, Be Wise, Be Kind, Be True, Patty