Hi, I know it's been awhile but I've had a bit of writer's block. I guess I don't always have much to say in Omaha.. :-) Anyway, I was talking to some people recently. Actually, I've talked to quite a few people recently who are having a difficult time with NOT being in a relationship. I'm not talking about teenagers. I'm talking about people ranging in age from early 20's to early 60's. So many people go into a form of panic at the thought of being "alone". I can understand as I was brought up to believe that a person should try their best to be independent because a man is not someone you can count on to always be there. Even though, I was taught that that "keeping a man" is the ultimate goal, or should be for any woman. Boy did I miss the boat on that one. I think what surprises me the most is that it's not just women who are struggling with this concept, but quite a few men are too. People are being convinced early on that they need to find someone to complete their lives. I think it's hogwash. Although to be honest, It's not like I wouldn't like someone in my life, but I believe that........wait for it......it'll be worth it.......you will never attract someone who is more emotionally stable then you currently are, unless it's for your looks. In which case, you don't want that person anyway. I truly don't want someone as messed up as I am right now......so it stands to reason, that while testing the waters would be okay, I'd probably be wasting someone's time. Also, I believe that if someone is meant to be......it will be. Be patient and continue to be the best you can be...for your own sake or for the sake of your family or maybe you're divorced like I am (twice now) and are trying really hard not to make the same mistakes over and over expecting different results.
So I believe an important question to ask yourself before you decide to let others know your interested in dating is. How ready are you? Really? Not, how much do you want it, but how ready are you? Do you know what you even want in a relationship? Can you at least pick out what you don't want? Are you attracted to a certain type of person? Is there a reason why, I'm betting there is? Have you ever asked yourself why this type of person attracts you? It might be important to know? Seriously, just this week, I heard someone say......"I can change him"......now this gal was jesting, but it drives home what I'm talking about. I work around a lot of solid, educated, mostly married people and I got to tell you, sometimes it's a very attractive thought, to have someone to be there through the thick and the thin. I'd love to have someone who makes it worth my time to want to look my best on occasion. As it is, I tend to throw the worse and if they can handle that......then there's hope. HAHA....I'm sort of joking, but not really. As an honest person I try to be myself, even if I get looked at funny....and believe me.....I DO!!!
My advice to anyone reading this, if you're married, or in a committed relationship, give your relationship the same consideration you gave it when you were dating, listen to each other and be their friend or things get mundane and boring. Find something to complement your special person with each day. It's the simple things that make all the difference in the world. Be the kind of friend to your significant other that you want out of a friend. It doesn't fix everything, but I'm willing to bet, that things get better.
For all of you out there who are single???? Relax, be yourself, be a friend, make sure that you're emotionally ready to meet someone and be open to who God brings your way. As I told someone recently, anyone can turn someone's eye, but if you can attract someone who didn't pick you first, but after chatting with you for an evening is suddenly...into you....then you have a nice foundation to work on. Looks fade, sex becomes less and less important and what you're left with is......do you like the person you're with?
Until next time, take care of each other and don't neglect yourself. Be patient and it's okay to wait for what you really want. Love you all, Patty
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