I grew up right smack in the middle of 5 girls. It's funny because my mother wanted boys. She gave up when the fourth pregnancy was twin girls. I don't blame her. I don't have very many memories of my childhood and can't be certain of the ones I have. But pictures have become very important to me, especially as I get older. It's fun and kind of sad sometimes to look back at the possibilities of the children I see. My father died when we were young so pictures of him are even more important to us sisters.
My mother was extremely intelligent. But she never had the belief in herself to ever be any of the things she wanted to be and as a young widow of 5 girls with basically no real lasting assistance other then social security, she was forced to work to make ends meet. And for someone who was so intelligent when it came to other people, she didn't have a lot of it when it came to her daughters. She had some wonderful qualities though, and now that she's gone, I find myself missing those things about her all the time.
Now it's just me and my sisters so to speak. We lost our youngest sister to cancer when she was 32. That was in 2000. That was one of the most difficult thing for all of us, but not near as difficult for her twin, who struggles on a daily basis. This blog actually isn't a sad one, but a time of rememberence of those we love and have lost and those still with us. I don't think we realize how much our siblings mean to us, especially when we're going through difficult times. My family was brought to believe in sticking together and helping each other out through their hard times in life. I don't do that near enough. But lately, I find myself missing each of them and each of their amazing qualities. They're not perfect, not near as perfect as me....:-) but we have shared experiences that make them uniquely qualified to help in times of trouble. Basically, I need my sisters. The ones far away and the ones that are near. I love you all and miss you all.
My oldest sister Val took care of us alot growing up and years ago, I wrote her a poem. It stills stands true today, I hope she sees this during her own difficult time she's currently going through, but Valerie, I'm thinking of you and hope this reminder lifts your spirits.
HERO
Your title is hero, in case you didn't know,
Cause you've always been there to take all the blows.
The burdens, the worries you grudgingly take,
The decisions I'm sure only you can make. \
As oldest I know your responsibilities are such,
That the weight on your shoulders is sometimes too much.
But I love your concern, your care and you smiles,
And that good swift kick that pushes me for miles.
But don't give up yet, I've some growing to do,
But I wanted you to know how much I love you.
For those of you out there with family, don't forget to let them know how much you love them, and lean on them every now and then. It might make them feel good. I've still got 3 other sisters and over the next few months, it's time I let them know just what they have meant to me....so Mel and Michelle.....start looking for yours. It'll be coming.. Take care of each other, who knows what tomorrow brings. Patty Ferrell
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