Hello everyone, I want to talk a little about my children, well they're children to me, but technically they're adults. I have one who was adopted by my sister (not a wise decision but something I can't change or beat myself for and I love her and him immensely). I was young and I have 3 grandchildren which I share with my sister. They live in another state far from Omaha. It really sucks, I've missed out on so much. But, I guess I'm lucky to even have the opportunity to be called Grandma Patty. My other older child was actually my step-son. I basically raised him and when my husband and I divorced (a whole other blog), I dropped the ball with his son as well. I've made more mistakes then most people I believe. But alas, that's not what this blog is about. I just couldn't see talking about my children without mentioning my 2 oldest.
My oldest (that I got to keep and claim as my own) is now 24. He is so much like his father. He's very laid back and easy to get along with. He has a decent job and a steady girlfriend. I'm so proud of him. He's growing into being such a good man. He's never really gotten in trouble, other then not doing his homework in school and struggling to graduate. That seems to be something all my kids have struggled with. But then they had me as an example and let me tell you, kids learn what we live, not what we tell them. Certainly not what we want them to learn. They catch everything we do, all the bad.......and all of the good. He wants children and she doesn't. I hope something works out between them because I would love little Isaac's running around.
My daughter just turned 22. She is so much like me when I was younger, it's kind of scary and kind of reassuring. On one hand I see her making some of the same mistakes I made, but in a less scary way. She's smarter then I am and has a whole lot more confidence in herself. She's enrolled in college and I certainly can't be more proud of her. She's taught me alot about myself. She has shown me who I was. It's like she took the best of me and the worst and the best of her father and has become this own woman. One who isn't me or him. She's Mary and I'm proud to have her as a daughter.
Then there's my youngest. He's 19, always in trouble. In fact, he's on probation right now for minor in possession. He's not doing too well with his probation and has had multiple sanctions. The funny thing is, he is so smart, they all are smart. Unfortunately, he's caught that side of me that doesn't think he's worth fighting for. I never knew how to fix it in myself so I don't know how to help him realize his own potential. He doesn't know what he wants to do. Anything I suggest is just nagging at him. His dad and step-mom basically act as if he doesn't exist....actually none of my kids exist because hers take center stage. And all my kids know it. Believe me it has affected all three of them. But none quite like my Ben. I know he feels abandoned by them and I really think he's got this whole......"any kind of attention is better then not even existing in your eyes" type of thinking. I wish his dad realized what he thew away when he lets his wife treat my kids like they don't measure up to her kids. Enough about them. Ben is trying hard to walk the almost straight and narrow and I'm the enabling mother, who due to guilt tends to give in to his wants. He has me wrapped around his little finger and I'm caught between loving my son and enabling him to continue along a line that will only hurt him in the future. He does have plans for college. So pray, pray for my son if you're someone who prays and pray for me to be the kind of mother he needs.
We're all on this journey and we don't know what we're doing. I wasn't really shown alot when it comes to parenting. I'm not blaming my mother, but I was definately led to believe that I wasn't worth taking care of. I NEVER want my children to EVER think that's true for them. Maybe I go too far, maybe not far enough. But hopefully they continue to show me the good things I gave them, like empathy and having a conscience, caring about others and being a good friend. I'm proud of my children not only for their accomplishments and their will to never give up but also for who they are on the inside. I love you all, Mom
Til next time, take care of each other....and yourselves. Patty
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