Good Morning Everyone,
I'm having a difficult time right now, which anyone who reads my blog knows. There is a person who I have lost respect for. Someone I once considered a friend, then this person began to treat my children badly. This person is still somewhat in the lives of my children. I have chosen to step away and not interfere since my children are adults and can make their own decisions now. But, it's very difficult to not judge this persons actions. I have done what I have to in order to keep the peace. This too has not been easy.
How often have I been the guilty one? How often have I put my needs above the needs of others? How many times did I knowingly not fight for what I knew was right simply to keep from making waves? Well the answer if often in the question. If I didn't need to ask it, then there would be no one the wiser. Right? We all make mistakes and mine are no different than the average person. I'm no less a sinner than the next person. I guess that whole not being in charge thing is still something I struggle with. But.......here's the kicker....I feel BETTER TODAY!!!
I know all of this makes no sense to you. I have been in such a funk, but I feel more hopeful today. Because once again, everything is new every morning. Today I have a choice, so do you. Today, I'm choosing to look toward the positive. I'm going to make an effort to not stay in my room and let my life slip by. It's supposed to be sunny today so I want to get out and stretch these legs. Let's face it, it's harder to be sad and depressed when the sun gives off so much life and warmth.
Have you watched the "Black Box"? It's about this Dr who has Bipolar disorder and sometimes she chooses to forego her medications. I find myself connecting with her character, because I too gave up a child to a family member for adoption and for mainly the same reasons, but not entirely. However, I'm not a liar. Also I don't have Bipolar, so no manic for me. Therefore any bad sexual encounters were just my own faulty thinking. But I do love her spontaneity, her dancing in the streets and not caring at all what others think.
As I've said before, remember each decision you make, makes a mark on either you or others. Try to concentrate on any positive thing. Which sometimes you have to look pretty hard......just stay away from the news,.....that will help trust me. This morning I leave you with one of my favorite verses.
Galations 6:9 "And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary." Be good to each other and don't neglect your own needs. Love, Patty
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