Good Morning Everyone,
I want to wish all the Mother's out there a belated Happy Mother's Day. I hope yours was as relaxing as mine was. Honestly, I don't think mine could have been any more relaxed than it was. I had so much relaxation yesterday that I've been woke up with restless legs this morning. I dislike that very much.
Today I'd like to talk about Peace. Internal peace not world wide peace. I don't want to talk about world wide peace because we have not been promised that kind of peace until the thousand year reign with Jesus. But, that's another blog. I'm talking about Peace that surpasses understanding. I'm talking about looking at 50 years in prison and still having peace. I'm talking about my past. And the gift that God gave me through my honesty and faith.
The year 2000 changed my life and the lives of my family. At the time, I was the middle man in drug connections. You see, I couldn't afford to buy drugs because of my kids, but if I arranged the sale of drugs, the dealer would give me a little kick-back for arranging the sale. It worked out great until the police came to my door, and I thought it was a friend of mine and opened the door.......you can imagine the chaos that resulted in that action. I tried to keep my drug use separated from my kids. I didn't always succeed, but thankfully they were with their dad that night and they weren't traumatized by my actions at that time.....that came later, trust me.
After my arraignment, I was sent upstairs to have a test of sorts. That's where they take all the information that I provided and come up with their recommendations for me. Their recommendation was the maximum. 50 years in prison. You see I was busted for possession of a controlled substance with the intent to sell. And since it happened in my apartment, which happened to be close to the high school, that doubled the time. So, 5 years for possession, 20 for distribution, near the high school doubled is 50. But I told the truth to the judge. I ignored my public defenders advice and spoke the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. The judge literally said that he'd never had anyone in his courtroom be as honest as I was. He didn't know what to do with me. He sincerely said all that. In the end, I was given 6 months in the county jail and with good time, I did 4 months. I was also on probation for 2 years which was successfully completed. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I never messed up again. I had my failures afterward, but it didn't take very much to remind me that drugs were not the answer. The day before I was supposed to turn myself in, my little sister died of cancer. They allowed me another week to attend her services. I was in jail for almost 2 months when I was informed that my best friend was in the hospital with AIDS. I was shocked, I had no idea he had AIDS. The guards had me as a trustee and allowed me to call him. I spoke to him on the phone and he died a couple of days later.
My point in telling you these things is not for you to judge me. I sincerely wish you don't. I can take it if you do. But, I want you to know that during the most difficult time of my life I had PEACE!! Peace that surpasses understanding. I went through the worst time of my life hand in hand with The Lord. I was nervous yes, but I knew that I could handle whatever the judge gave me. I knew He would be right there with me.
Today, I don't drink but a glass of wine once or twice a year. No drugs at all other than whats prescribed to me from my doctor. My 3 year drug bender almost cost me my life, literally. I know the Peace that surpasses understanding that Phillipians 4 talks about. I hope I got that right. I know what it's like to lose everything and have my kids look at me through the glass crying because I couldn't touch them. It's not something I'd recommend for anyone. That 4 months in jail changed me, for the better. It's a time in my life that I recall with fondness. I learned that cops weren't the bad guys, they're just people like you and me doing their job.
There is SO much more to this story I wish I could tell you all of it. But, there just isn't enough time or space. Just trust me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel you've found yourself in. The truth shall indeed set you free. For I am free indeed. Even in jail, I was free. Until next time, I ask you to consider what the next person you meet might be going through and smile. Say hello, pray for them. Take care of yourself and others. Love, Patty
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