Hello Everyone,
Memories are a peculiar thing. They say that accident victims can only remember just before impact. That it's just something that happens to protect ourselves from reliving traumatic memories. The point of impact is too much for the mind to handle. I can believe that. It kind of makes sense in some way. I on the other hand remember the only accident I was in. I was driving down Dodge St in the pouring rain and the brakes gave out. I didn't even think about trying the emergency brake but since all the lanes were full, I had no choice but to hit the truck in front of me who just happened to have brand new, still in the box furniture in it. That accident cost me 804.77. I will never forget that number. I didn't have insurance so it took me 3 years to pay for it but I did. That was 30 years ago. I have perfect clarity.
I remember most of the rotten things I did. My memories are different than say, someone who was there at the time. My sister remembers lots of rotten things I did to her, but I don't. Well I remember some of the things as kids but not everything. She does though. Maybe that's our inner defense. Maybe we aren't meant to remember everything. Maybe......
The thing is, it doesn't really matter. I've tried for years to remember some things that happened when I was young and it's amazing what I DO remember as opposed to what I don't. I just get flashes of people and rooms and things like that. No one else can complete those flashes of memories because the others that were present are either gone or no longer a part of my life or just don't remember things at all. It gives me comfort to know that everything that is hidden will be revealed. The Lord says that. It makes me feel better as there are lots of things I'd like to have explained. But, who knows maybe by the time I get to the other side, the things I wanted explanations for will no longer matter. Right now, I have a running list of questions I need answered. And it's difficult to have to wait.
What I do understand is that all of our experiences both good and bad make up who we are today and I'm happy to be where I am right now. I don't think I would hide any of the memories I DO have. I wish the memories I don't have would be brought back with a whole lot better quality. Sometimes NOT knowing is just as difficult as knowing the ugly truth. I don't have the luxury of being in control of all the events in my life and I understand no one else does either. Maybe, just maybe things are as they should be for a reason. I don't have to like it but I do have to accept that He knows what He's doing. I will continue to pray for my eyes to be opened to the past. I honestly don't understand why certain things are hidden from me. Until then, I will fight the good fight and see what comes as a result. Blessings to you all and happy memories.
Love, Patty
No comments:
Post a Comment