Do you ever have one of those days when everything just feels wrong and you don't know why? I do. I have a restlessness that I can't begin to even explain. It feels like a silent tantrum inside. Where I'm needing a vacation from my own mind. I think this must be a form of spring fever for older people. Where the mind is still young, but the body begs to differ.
I sometimes feel stuck in the choices that have brought me to where I am today. Sometimes that is a good place and other times, it just stagnates, feeding on all the negative I've done in my life or allowed in my past. It's not my intention to bring others down, but sometimes just letting loose with what I'm really feeling just might help someone else to know that they're not alone in their suffering. Today, I'd rather be walking on a trail, communing with nature, instead I am finding my self using extra pain meds to take the physical and the mental pain away. It's not a smart thing to do, but certainly not unheard of for me. I too, seek to leave my own company at times. Movies and books don't always accomplish what I need them for. This too is my own fault.
I wrote the previous two paragraphs last night. I will close this short post this morning, with a good thought. I'm getting ready to go with my daughter to see my new grandchild by ultrasound. This truly makes me happy. I'm praying today is better than last night. It just wasn't a good night for me. But today is a new day and it has new hopes and new ideas and thankfully a brighter outlook. As usual, I usually just need to ride out the day and get to a better one.
Until next time, take care of each other and that means you too, Love, Patty
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