Just a little P.S.

Hi everyone, I got to tell you about this show I just caught on Netflix.  It's called the United States of Tara.  I don't think it's on the air anymore but OMG.  It was put out by Showtime so there's a lot of profanity but let me tell you the premise of the story line.  It starts out this woman is married with 2 kids, one is a pre-teen kind of nerdy boy and the other is a sexually active teenage girl.  The husband is John Corbett, who I love and he is normal but the mother has DID or Disassociative Identity Disorder, what used to be known as multiple personality disorder.  This is really pretty amusing how they put it together.  I only seen the one episode but if you're into that sort of thing.......check it out.

I love anything having to do with mental illness.  I work with people who are mentally ill and while I no longer work with them one on one like a therapist or a social worker, I do get the opportunity to interact with them and most of them live completely normal lives without any problems at all.  You'd never know they were sick if you met them on the street.  Anyway, it's near and dear to my heart and I guess I had to add this to my previous blog today.....love ya all, Patty

By the way, the second episode of that show.....not so good.  Sorry for the recommendation.  It kind of sucked.  :-)  Patty

New Years Eve Ponderings......

Hello everyone and Happy New Year's Eve to you!  I don't think I'm going anywhere tonight as my car needs a new battery.  Honestly, I really don't mind staying home.  Back in the day, we called this amateur night.  LOL.....now it seems that I'd be the amateur.  Oh well, the one thing you can count on never changing is that things will always change.  I've decided not to have any resolutions.  I never follow through and it just upsets me anyway.  I am however, looking forward to a new year, new beginning, new attitude, new seasons of shows I enjoy  :-)  Yeah, I have quite the life.

I'm also looking forward to my ladies group starting back up.  I've missed them all terribly.  It feels like forever.  I've counted on these women to help me keep perspective and keep me on track.  They love me, flaws and all and I love each of them.  We're still studying the "Sacred Romance" and believe it or not, we're only on chapter 5....I think.  It's been a while.  I think it's important to have some people in your life that you can show all your flaws to.  I tell these women how I really am feeling about my spiritual walk, and they understand and help me to realize I'm not all that far off the beaten path I'm meant to be on.

I guess if I'm going to have any resolution it's going to be to try and overcome this isolation thing I've got going.  I don't want to see it as a resolution though, it's more of a life change.  I'm hoping it goes along with me getting my own apartment this spring.  I know that changes are coming and I'm really looking forward to it but it's not going to be easy either.  Right now I have an aunt who kind of pushes me to participate in life.  I really don't allow her to but she does try.  I will miss her very much when I move out.  But I'm so thankful that she's been here for me.

I'm curious as to what the rest of you are planning on changing, send me a note and let me know, maybe you'll inspire me to really step up my game.  I DO know that I'm taking out most of the drama in my life.  I choose to say no.  I'm getting better at it but I don't always succeed.  Sometimes my mouth works without my mind knowing what it's doing.  It's like on autopilot.  Oh well, it is what it is.  Some things can't be changed no matter how much you wish them to be.  I'm also looking forward to watching the Nebraska Football game tomorrow.....Go Huskers!  Anyway, AMC is showing the Walking Dead marathon tonight and tomorrow night so I'll probably watch that tonight.  Until next time, take care of each other and be kind to yourself.  You're worth it!  With all my love, Patty

No regrets and things I enjoy

Hello everyone,  I have a few things to say.  There's been quite the backlash from an earlier post from people I care about.  I'm not going to explain.  Instead I'm going to tell you why when someone gets upset by something you say......you have the right to either own up to it, or run and hide.  I say what I have to say on this blog fairly regularly.  Anyone who reads this knows I haven't been the kindest to myself.  I've listed pretty much all of my flaws.....I've mentioned my drug years, jail time, stepping out on my husband, not always being a good role model, not always putting my children first, sleeping around, my struggles with my faith, my choosing to be by myself so much, my laziness, my regrets, I'm not sure what else, but I'm sure there is more.  In other words, I'm an open book.  I don't have anything to hide.  You have questions, just ask.  I won't hide.

On the other hand I stand by what I say.  This blog is like a personal diary that I'm willing to share with whoever wants to read it.  These are just my opinions based on the information I have been given or experienced.  In other words, if you don't like what I have to say, please don't read this.  I will not defend it again.  This is the one and only time I will bring this subject up.  There, enough said about that.

On to bigger and better subjects.  How about some of my favorite programs.  Yes, I've discovered Netflix.  I love that site.  Because of them, I've been able to watch some of my favorite shows from the beginning to the most recent from the previous season (if it's still on the air).  I got to tell you some of my favorites.  I've learned to love Being Human, both the US version and the first 3 seasons of the UK version.  They lost me on the 4th year.  I love the Vampire Diaries, who would have thought that I would grow so attached to characters on a program.  But, like a book, I find myself missing my characters and want to see them again, or reread the book.  I'm starting to watch Glee and Warehouse 13 and I watched all the seasons of Grey's Anatomy.  I've also watched some of the movies but basically, I'm really enjoying the TV shows.  It's probably not as good as having TIVO or whatever it is they have today. But for me, Netflix is perfect.  If anyone has any ideas of which shows are good to watch, let me know so I can check them out.  I tried watching Sons of Anarchy and to be honest, there was too much there that reminded me of who I used to be and that's not something I need to be reminded of on a regular basis.  The same reason why you won't get me to watch Breaking Bad.  Way too real for me.  Anyway, I guess I'm done for now.  

Just remember to stay true to yourself and who cares what other people think, but I would give everyone one bit of free advice, IF YOU DON'T WANT OTHERS TO JUDGE YOU BASED ON YOUR ACTIONS, DON'T DO THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE OTHERS FEEL NEGATIVELY TOWARD YOU!  Problem solved!  A lesson I learned the hard way!  To those of you who are still interested in what I have to say, stay tuned because it could be a bumpy ride.  LOL.  Until next time, take care of each other and be good to yourself, with much love, Patty 

Lifes Blessing

Well everyone it's back to work time and I have to say it's been a humbling day.  I met a man who is literally at rock bottom.  He just received a 3 day eviction notice, has no income, no one to help him as far as supportive family and no food or phone services.  The good news is he has been clean and sober for over 2 years.  I had the priviledge of reminding him that the only way to go is up.  I also gave him resources to help with his rent, medications and food pantries and he sat here for a couple of hours making phone calls on my phone.  He had such a wonderful attitude!  I'm not going to mention any names but say a prayer for this man as he reaches upward. 

It's times like those that remind me that my illness isn't that bad to handle, although some days I would argue that.  I DO have a place to live and food in my belly and a job.  I have children who love me and are very supportive.  They all make me very proud.  I have sisters that love me and friends I can turn to if things get rough.  I am truly blessed!

If anyone out there is in need of resources, I can't provide what you need but I can probably send you in the right direction.  I just feel blessed and wanted to share my positive experience this time.  Take care of yourselves and each other, with much love, Patty

Merry Christmas

Since my last blog was kind of a downer I wanted to set a new tone for this most important of holidays!  This won't take long, but don't forget everyone that presents are not what make up this particular holiday.  We celebrate today because a Savior was born on this day.  Because of His birth, we now have redemption and a straight hook up line to the Top Dog.....The Almighty God!  Jesus is our advocate, who stands in the gab constantly making intercession on our behalf.  Don't forget that the enemy also has an audience with God.......don't believe me???  Check out Job!  We have an accuser that likes to point out every mistake we make but Glory be to God that because of His great love for us, He gave us His son Jesus!  Some how or another we have turned this wonderful holiday into a month long (for some a lot longer) source of some of the worst stress we encounter over a years time.  Why?  It's supposed to be a celebration not a time of mourning our bank accounts.  Oh, and yes, I'm guilty of this myself.  Most of us are.  Later today, I want to make it a point to see some of my family and not give presents, but instead my presence and invite the One whose birthday we're celebrating!  Have a Happy Christmas and relax and enjoy!  All my love, Patty

What's all the fuss about anyway??

Well hello friends and family and the rest of the world.  I wasn't sure if I actually had anything of substance to say today, but hey, that's never stopped me before from speaking what's on my mind. LOL.  I'm realizing that there is a benefit to getting older.  I'm watching on facebook, and Yahoo and the paper and the news and generally seeing what other people hold dear to them.  You know, what they're willing to go to prison for, die for, lie about, protect others from and themselves.  Most of the time it's heartbreaking.  You read about someone texting while driving and as a result someone is killed.  It makes you wonder if in the grand scheme of things, was that text so important?  I have found myself guilty of it.  I was lucky, but stupid.  But none of that really is what I want to say.

I'm realizing that I have many things to be thankful for.  People I love are struggling financially, emotionally, physically but what I keep learning from them is that they're not giving up on their faith.  Oh, everybody hits their hills and valleys, but how do you keep them from consuming every waking moment?  Sometimes, you simply can't.  With Christmas literally right around the corner.  I feel the familiar stress to make it good for my children, who are all adults.  Why do I put so much emphasis on what is not important?  Right now, all my kids are being taken care of.  None of them are hungry or without their daily needs met.  They may not have it all together, but I can honestly say that they're all planning and working toward their future.  What more can a mother do?

I'm keeping this short and simple tonight because I really got to go to bed.  But I want you all to consider getting back to the reason for the season.  I'm talking about Jesus' birthday.  Our savior was born and this is what we are celebrating.  We have someone who stands in the gap and constantly makes intercession on our behalf, every time we pray.  I find myself forgetting about Him as I go on through my day and then later wonder, where were You, Lord?  Why do I feel so alone?  You know he's saying....right here waiting for you?  Are you ready to spend some time with me?  I can make you feel better, and HE does, HE always does.  I usually walk away wondering why I tend to put off the one person who can help?  Is that something any of the rest of you struggle with?  Please try to take away the pressures to buy all the right gifts or going into debt or being the perfect hostess, or God forbid.....doing it all, all by yourself.  In the middle of your struggles, take a moment and thank the reason for the season and ask for His help.  I'm betting if the emphasis is put in the right place, everything else will fall into place.

Please take care of each other and don't neglect yourself.  Til next time......Love, Patty.  Oh, also look at parade.com/santa to see if you're post office participates in the program that tries to answer the letters that get sent to Santa each year.  There is a group that's been around for 100 years  that try to make some of those Christmas wishes come true.  I just read that today and was truly blessed.  If you have it, give it.  I'm sure you'll be blessed for it.  Love you all!!

Relationships 101

Hi, I know it's been awhile but I've had a bit of writer's block.  I guess I don't always have much to say in Omaha..  :-)  Anyway, I was talking to some people recently.  Actually, I've talked to quite a few people recently who are having a difficult time with NOT being in a relationship.  I'm not talking about teenagers.  I'm talking about people ranging in age from early 20's to early 60's.  So many people go into a form of panic at the thought of being "alone".  I can understand as I was brought up to believe that a person should try their best to be independent because a man is not someone you can count on to always be there. Even though, I was taught that that "keeping a man" is the ultimate goal, or should be for any woman.  Boy did I miss the boat on that one.  I think what surprises me the most is that it's not just women who are struggling with this concept, but quite a few men are too.  People are being convinced early on that they need to find someone to complete their lives.  I think it's hogwash.  Although to be honest, It's not like I wouldn't like someone in my life, but I believe that........wait for it......it'll be worth it.......you will never attract someone who is more emotionally stable then you currently are, unless it's for your looks.  In which case, you don't want that person anyway.  I truly don't want someone as messed up as I am right now......so it stands to reason, that while testing the waters would be okay, I'd probably be wasting someone's time.  Also, I believe that if someone is meant to be......it will be.  Be patient and continue to be the best you can be...for your own sake or for the sake of your family or maybe you're divorced like I am (twice now) and are trying really hard not to make the same mistakes over and over expecting different results.

So I believe an important question to ask yourself before you decide to let others know your interested in dating is.  How ready are you?  Really?  Not, how much do you want it, but how ready are you?  Do you know what you even want in a relationship?  Can you at least pick out what you don't want?  Are you attracted to a certain type of person?  Is there a reason why, I'm betting there is?  Have you ever asked yourself why this type of person attracts you?  It might be important to know?  Seriously, just this week, I heard someone say......"I can change him"......now this gal was jesting, but it drives home what I'm talking about.   I work around a lot of solid, educated, mostly married people and I got to tell you, sometimes it's a very attractive thought, to have someone to be there through the thick and the thin.  I'd love to have someone who makes it worth my time to want to look my best on occasion.  As it is, I tend to throw the worse and if they can handle that......then there's hope.  HAHA....I'm sort of joking, but not really.  As an honest person I try to be myself, even if I get looked at funny....and believe me.....I DO!!!

My advice to anyone reading this, if you're married, or in a committed relationship, give your relationship the same consideration you gave it when you were dating, listen to each other and be their friend or things get mundane and boring.  Find something to complement your special person with each day.  It's the simple things that make all the difference in the world.  Be the kind of friend to your significant other that you want out of a friend.  It doesn't fix everything, but I'm willing to bet, that things get better.

For all of you out there who are single????  Relax, be yourself, be a friend, make sure that you're emotionally ready to meet someone and be open to who God brings your way.  As I told someone recently, anyone can turn someone's eye, but if you can attract someone who didn't pick you first, but after chatting with you for an evening is suddenly...into you....then you have a nice foundation to work on.  Looks fade, sex becomes less and less important and what you're left with is......do you like the person you're with?

Until next time, take care of each other and don't neglect yourself.  Be patient and it's okay to wait for what you really want.  Love you all, Patty