How have you been treating life?

Hello Everyone, how has life been treating you, or rather, how have you been treating the life you've been given?  Just for the record, I swear I did not just write that sentence....trust me.  I think that question was a direct question for me.  Don't you just hate that?

One of the things I'm learning by not being able to go out and work right now is that there are people out there who are missing me even though I am one strange cookie.  :-)  I got a message from a friend today that I work with.  She is one of the people that make my job so much fun.  She always has the best stories and she has this weird thing about always attracting these guys who are not what she's looking for.  But she tells them in such a way that it's hilarious.  I miss her, there's another gal that it doesn't seem to matter what she says, she just makes me laugh.  I think I give her a complex about it.  Anyway, if anyone from work happens to read this.  I miss you all.  But I'm trying to do the right thing here.  I've sat around and waited for things to change for too long and guess what, it doesn't happen on it's own.  I hate that too.  :-(

I have found that I want a life, I want to live it!  I'm not too old, I'm broken and a little scared.....okay, a lot scared but that doesn't mean that I can't rejoice over the little things I've been given.  It also doesn't mean that this is all there is.  This one room where my whole life consists of Netflix.  I've enjoyed it don't get me wrong, but I want relationships with people.....all kinds of people.  I want to learn from them and laugh with them and enjoy the moments they have to offer.  So far, that's not really happening because I'm not really letting it.  Hopefully after this first surgery, that will change.

Also, out of the blue, I discovered this musical artist that goes by the name Plumb.  She has this incredible voice and it's very haunting and it stays with you.  If you get a chance, make sure you youtube her or google her or something.  Amazing voice she has and her lyrics are something that makes you think.

So, I'm also really sucking in my prayer life.  I try to pray for my kids everyday and all my loved ones, but don't always get it done.  I try to ask the Lord to teach what it is He wants me to learn each particular day.  Today I've learned that people are precious.  Not a single person enters our life that doesn't leave their mark.  We are touched, sometimes in a good way and sometimes it's a time of trial.  Nevertheless, they touch us.  You have all touched me.  I noticed today that I had people from Russia reading my blog.  Welcome friends.  I hope you get something out of it.  I'm going to make a bigger effort to let the people I care about know that they mean something to me.  I hope you're doing the same.  Remember we aren't promised tomorrow.  Make sure your words are kind.  Until next time, please take care of yourself and be kind to others also, with love, Patty

What changes are necessary to make now???

Hello everyone, long time no hear, huh?  Sorry about that.  I've had some strange goings on.  I've missed a lot of work again.  But I think things are looking up, finally.  I went to see my Dr. today and he's going to get me set up to get a new knee which will probably turn into 2 new knees.  He also set me up with a pain management Dr.  So, finally I'm looking for solutions instead of waiting for the changes to happen on their own.  This seems to be one of the most difficult things for me to do.  As someone who likes things to stay the same and usually is not very spontaneous, I've proud of myself for making the necessary moves to finally find myself at least able to live with some of this pain I feel.

I will be going on short term disability though, that's going to hurt but I think I'll get over it.  My older son has a good job, my daughter is about to start her second quarter in college and my youngest son might have a really good paying job beginning the first week of February.  Pray for them please.

One of the problems I have spiritually is the age old question......is God really good?  If the answer is yes, does that apply to me?  I've decided that I'm stuck in a rut and the only way that I can think of to get out of it is to ask Him to show me what it is he's trying to teach me.  If I don't then it seems I'm doomed to keep repeating old mistakes until I learn this particular task He wants me to learn.  Does that make sense?  Sometimes I feel so disconnected from Him.  My instincts tell me that it's my fault not His.  But it feels like I'm alone in all this.  Isn't it a little sad that the one being that can help me the most is the one I feel so disconnected from?

So, I'm asking you all to say a little prayer for me, to help me take the next step and learn from it.  I need to be accountable to ask each day, what would you have me learn today Lord?  I've never failed to get some sort of answer it just irritates me when the answer is usually something I need to change or fix.  It's almost always something I'm not seeing correctly.

Anyway,  I'm trying to keep my head up and just an FYI, my cell phone is out until taxes come in.  Sorry, but I'm always available through the net.  Until next time, take care of each other and don't neglect yourself!  Much love, Patty

New Year Wishes

Happy New Year Everyone!  I pray this year finds you in great spirits, healthy bodies, good friends and loving families.  This has been a very hard year for me, for a lot of people I think.  It seems as though everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  But, I have nothing but hope for the new year.

Today, I got a new battery put in my car with a little help from friends who love me!  Thank you very much for your kindness.  Who would have guessed that Walmart would put in a car battery for free if you buy it there?  I was surprised!  I have sisters and nieces and nephews and children and extended family, some of whom I haven't even met, that I care about and that I love very much.  I'm very blessed.

I'm going to try to keep this short.  I just want to express my well wishes and give you all a little piece of something to chew on these next few days.  When an accident occurs....and is witnessed by several people.  Each person gives a different account of what they saw happen.  None of their stories are inaccurate, though they don't all tell the same story.  I know that I have been guilty in the past and will probably be guilty in the future of only seeing my story through my eyes.  I've found that's pretty typical.  I talked with a co-worker about a week or so ago telling him that I didn't think someone liked me because we just don't communicate well with each other.  It was kind of funny what he told me.  He said that said person has never been able to communicate with others, it's not personal.  He told me to keep at it and don't make presumptions.  Wise advice.  Of course, he's a therapist, so that's his job.  But he's right, there is always more than one side to every story.  This year, I pray that we all are open to hear other people.  To look at the bigger picture, to NOT always take things personal.  Sometimes, we react to things that maybe weren't even about us.  Like my situation with a coworker.  Try to see a situation through another's eyes, whether it be a cranky check out person or a waiter in a bad mood, or maybe someone cut you off in traffic.  We really don't know what that person is going through, so don't take it personal, say a little prayer for them and move along your day in a positive way.  Until next time, be kind to each other and yourself, with all my love, Patty