Hello everyone, I hope you've all had a blessed couple of weeks. The weather is wonderful and it's a joy to go to my sisters to help her walk her two chiquaquas around a block or two. I'd call them THING 1 and THING 2, but the truth is, I truly enjoy these walks. One of these dogs is the dad to the other, literally. He is constantly trying to parent the younger and smaller dog. It's quite amusing. What isn't amusing is that now when I visit, they connect me to the walk, and a chiquaquas bark is highly annoying...lol.....what's a girl to do. Even though it's a painful process because of my physical pain and I pay for it later, it's still worth it.
The reason I bring up the dogs is to help explain the changes in the weather and how the leaves change and we know that cold weather is coming. And we need this, in order for spring to come again along with the new flowers and fresh grass and all the beautiful bird sounds....New life. It's all a circle, I know it sounds cliche but this particular week, not only did I witness it, I felt it. The bittersweet of having something really bad happen in the midst of tremendous joy. It's very difficult to keep perspective when your heart and your mind is so confused.
Two weeks ago today, I had a grandchild by my baby, my youngest. Two days after that, my ex-mother-in-law passed away. That would be the new babys great grandmother. I truly loved that woman. She taught me so much about parenting and taking care of a home. Most importantly, she loved me even when her son and I divorced. I think alot of it is because of my children. My children took their grandparents out of their shell. My kids were huggers and kissers and my husbands parents were not. My children taught their grandparents how to show affection. Don't get me wrong, my ex-husband was the youngest of nine children. But I think because we lived just behind them for the first six years or so, my kids and their grandparents became very close and it showed. Anyway, I loved her and I love my ex-father-in-law and I feel terrible for his loss. They were married more then 65 years. That in itself is amazing. I can't imagine the loss he must feel.
That's what makes this so bittersweet. My grandchild is the most amazing feeling I've ever had. He lays on my chest and sleeps and it is the epitome of peace. Through this small child I'm being taught about love and trust once again. These are feelings I've been hiding for some time. My life has been on hold for quite a while, but I can now feel those bonds of not trusting and not allowing myself to love someone other than my family slowly coming loose. I'm starting to feel whole again. I truly think it's because I'm relearning how to trust through the love and total dependence this baby has on others.
One life ends and another begins and summer is over and fall has begun and soon we will experience winter once again. And I will be stronger and so will my grandchild. I will be a better person because of what this little innocent baby is teaching me. I am so very grateful and thankful that I get to be a part of this entire experience. I am a grandmother and it is so very well with my soul.
Love each other and treat each other like you love each other. None of us are promised tomorrow. Anything can happen. So tell your loved ones that you love them, and visit them. Especially when they get older. I passed up an opportunity to spend more time with my ex-husbands mother and I regret that. Don't allow that to happen to you. Love one another. Until next time, love Patty
This blog will be about daily life and some things I've learned along the way. I hope it interests you, entertains you or otherwise, helps you keep perspective!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Things I should have learned long ago....
Hello Everyone,
I've had a difficult time starting this blog back up. So many things have changed in my life and I guess I'll get to them one at a time. I really hoped to be able to share some of the wonderful lessons in life I've learned to help one individual from repeating my mistakes. It would be worth it right? I sure hope so but truthfully, who am I trying to kid? I'm still trying to grow up and learn from my own mistakes, but unfortunately, I keep making them over and over again. I will tell you something I learned this week, again.
Not long ago, my son and his girlfriend and I moved in together for a year. I'm expecting my grandchild any day, so keep your eyes peeled for updates. :-) It's hard having roommates especially when they're also family. It's been a real challenge to look at my son as my roommate and not as his mother and where is the line that changes me from Mom to roommate? I'm finding that line to be as curvy and changable and challenging as anything I've undertaken before. Wow, do I have a lot to learn!
This may sound like a "duh" to some of you, but to me......those lines are difficult to follow but easy to cross. I try very hard to be respectful of my roommates and all that implies, but the mother in me wants to continue to do some of the things that moms are used to doing. Things like laundry and cooking and picking up the living room and cleaning the kitchen and go to the grocery store. Unfortunately, sometimes the roommate steps in there and wants to complain because I'm doing most of the work and have none of the fun. Oh, and they seem to have more spending money than I do and don't you remember I loaned you that 10 bucks and picked up that stuff for you at the store? So that means that you owe me.....and this all makes sense to me until I'm reminded that hey, you're my son and as a mother I want to do these things. Being able to still be a part of my sons life is one of the most rewarding gifts I could possibly be given and on top of that. I get to be here when the baby comes. How many people are as blessed as I am? How do I walk that crazy messed up blurred and blessed line? And the biggest question of all is, how do I walk that line successfully without hurt feelings? .
Let me tell you, that's where the lesson comes in. It kind of all goes back to that whole kindergarden thing. Be polite, don't cut in line, hold hands when crossing the street, be nice, don't take anyone else's toys, don't stick out your tongue and treat others how you want to be treated. That last one is one of the most difficult things to do.
I don't always want to have to be kind and thankfully, they're my family and when I've had a difficult day, I don't treat them that way. I treat them like their my roommates. I attempt to give the same considerations I would give someone who I want to give a good impression to. Not like I would somebody who HAS to love me, do you know what I mean? I think that's the key to living in the same home as anybody. You should always treat the people you love BETTER than the way you'd treat a friend or someone you would want to give a good impression to. It seems like when I follow those principles......things go better. I keep that molehill from becoming a mountain. What really sucks is, this is not a lesson you learn once and can file it away for good measure. It's a lesson that keeps you on your toes and something you have to be mindfull of on a moment by moment basis.
Remember, to show people you love them with your behavior and your words and with respect that is due to those you admire. Be good to you and I hope to chat with you soon. Feel free to give me any feedback you may have...good or bad..I can take it. Patty
I've had a difficult time starting this blog back up. So many things have changed in my life and I guess I'll get to them one at a time. I really hoped to be able to share some of the wonderful lessons in life I've learned to help one individual from repeating my mistakes. It would be worth it right? I sure hope so but truthfully, who am I trying to kid? I'm still trying to grow up and learn from my own mistakes, but unfortunately, I keep making them over and over again. I will tell you something I learned this week, again.
Not long ago, my son and his girlfriend and I moved in together for a year. I'm expecting my grandchild any day, so keep your eyes peeled for updates. :-) It's hard having roommates especially when they're also family. It's been a real challenge to look at my son as my roommate and not as his mother and where is the line that changes me from Mom to roommate? I'm finding that line to be as curvy and changable and challenging as anything I've undertaken before. Wow, do I have a lot to learn!
This may sound like a "duh" to some of you, but to me......those lines are difficult to follow but easy to cross. I try very hard to be respectful of my roommates and all that implies, but the mother in me wants to continue to do some of the things that moms are used to doing. Things like laundry and cooking and picking up the living room and cleaning the kitchen and go to the grocery store. Unfortunately, sometimes the roommate steps in there and wants to complain because I'm doing most of the work and have none of the fun. Oh, and they seem to have more spending money than I do and don't you remember I loaned you that 10 bucks and picked up that stuff for you at the store? So that means that you owe me.....and this all makes sense to me until I'm reminded that hey, you're my son and as a mother I want to do these things. Being able to still be a part of my sons life is one of the most rewarding gifts I could possibly be given and on top of that. I get to be here when the baby comes. How many people are as blessed as I am? How do I walk that crazy messed up blurred and blessed line? And the biggest question of all is, how do I walk that line successfully without hurt feelings? .
Let me tell you, that's where the lesson comes in. It kind of all goes back to that whole kindergarden thing. Be polite, don't cut in line, hold hands when crossing the street, be nice, don't take anyone else's toys, don't stick out your tongue and treat others how you want to be treated. That last one is one of the most difficult things to do.
I don't always want to have to be kind and thankfully, they're my family and when I've had a difficult day, I don't treat them that way. I treat them like their my roommates. I attempt to give the same considerations I would give someone who I want to give a good impression to. Not like I would somebody who HAS to love me, do you know what I mean? I think that's the key to living in the same home as anybody. You should always treat the people you love BETTER than the way you'd treat a friend or someone you would want to give a good impression to. It seems like when I follow those principles......things go better. I keep that molehill from becoming a mountain. What really sucks is, this is not a lesson you learn once and can file it away for good measure. It's a lesson that keeps you on your toes and something you have to be mindfull of on a moment by moment basis.
Remember, to show people you love them with your behavior and your words and with respect that is due to those you admire. Be good to you and I hope to chat with you soon. Feel free to give me any feedback you may have...good or bad..I can take it. Patty
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