Good morning everyone,
I actually have a thought today I'd like to talk about. Fear, how it damages us and changes how we should be handling a situation and therefore controls us in many areas of our lives.
Fear has been pretty dominate in my life recently. As many of you know, I've been waiting for over a year to be approved for disability for my medical issues. I have an attorney for my final stages and need prayers for a court date soon please. But wait, that's not all......I've also have had no income this entire year. I've had to make some sacrifices that have been difficult. Thankfully, I have a sister who is providing for all my needs right now. Believe me, it's a humbling experience.
There are more than personal reasons to have fear. All you've got to do is open your ears for a minute or two before you hear about wars, wars and rumors of wars. Our economy is in the worst shape in our history. As a nation, we should be embarrassed. I'm referring to our fighting each other.....our government and how corrupt it has become. We have so much crime and our morals have been corrupted. All you have to do is watch a little television to figure that out. It makes you wonder how much longer we can hold out as a nation before we come the United States of "fill in the blank"......which I imagine would be the country we owe the most to financially.
I fear for my children and my grandchildren and the kind of life they have to live in order to survive. We're being forced to feed ourselves with preservatives and all kinds of toxic ingredients because they're cheaper to buy. I know personally, if I was able, or even had a home instead of an apt, would have a garden and would learn how to can or freeze what I sowed. If I was able, which I'm not.....physically. Now I'm just rambling and what if's never helped anyone. However, it is scary.
I have fear, but I also have faith. And LOVE trumps fear every single time. I'm not sure if many of you are aware, but usually when I'm trying to convey a thought or some insight to you who read my blogs, it's because it's what I need to hear at the moment. This morning, I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite verses out of John, words written in red, read in chapter 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world."
I know I read it somewhere, that perfect love cast out fear......we are incapable of that kind of love without the love of God. Please continue to pray for me for depression, fear, pain and that I will be approved for medical assistance through the state very soon (this looks very hopeful to me, which would cast out a lot of fear, believe me). I want you to know if you ever have a prayer request, feel free to comment or send me an email at pattyinomaha@gmail.com or psimb@yahoo.com and I'll do my best. With love, Patty
This blog will be about daily life and some things I've learned along the way. I hope it interests you, entertains you or otherwise, helps you keep perspective!
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
We aren't promised tomorrow, love today
Good morning everyone,
Yesterday was Memorial Day and I didn't do anything at all. I had my grandson in the morning and had my daughter later that day. In between, I read, slept, slept some more and then was woke up by family coming over. You know, I wonder about how family treats each other. It makes me wonder, we set a whole day to remember those who have fallen to save our country. It is a day worth remembering. Although, I can't help but wonder what rights the soldier died for?
So much of what this country was based on, no longer applies. We pay taxes, we pay into social security with each check, during our whole working lives. Now why didn't they use my hard earned money responsibly? If I would have taken out just as much and put it in the bank that the government required me to take out, I probably would have a boatload of cash right now. The problem is that after the government takes their share, there just isn't enough left over to stash away for later. Every penny is needed.
I'm going to stop the complaining against the government right now. However, what I have found is that we as a family, a literal family, treat each other as disposable. Don't worry about being kind to family, somebody will make more. We take a whole day to memorialize the dead, but yet walk all over those whose blood we share. I say this because I have family that I don't talk to. I have my reasons and I'm not going to call anyone out, not that they read this anyway, but still.....it just makes me sad because we used to be kind of close once.
All I'm really trying to say is to treat each other the way you would want to be treated. It seems like a simple thing. Yet, it's something we struggle with every day of our lives. Maybe because we don't treat ourselves very well. Maybe it's because we've chosen to believe the lie that we aren't worthy of being taken care of, or loved or to have someone sacrifice for us as one person. Just you, somebody thinking you're worth dying for, or fighting for, or taking care of you, or loving you.
I leave you with one of my favorite verses found in Psalms 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." Please, try to be kind to each other. We don't live forever in this life. We miss each other when we die. So love each other today. Love, Patty
Yesterday was Memorial Day and I didn't do anything at all. I had my grandson in the morning and had my daughter later that day. In between, I read, slept, slept some more and then was woke up by family coming over. You know, I wonder about how family treats each other. It makes me wonder, we set a whole day to remember those who have fallen to save our country. It is a day worth remembering. Although, I can't help but wonder what rights the soldier died for?
So much of what this country was based on, no longer applies. We pay taxes, we pay into social security with each check, during our whole working lives. Now why didn't they use my hard earned money responsibly? If I would have taken out just as much and put it in the bank that the government required me to take out, I probably would have a boatload of cash right now. The problem is that after the government takes their share, there just isn't enough left over to stash away for later. Every penny is needed.
I'm going to stop the complaining against the government right now. However, what I have found is that we as a family, a literal family, treat each other as disposable. Don't worry about being kind to family, somebody will make more. We take a whole day to memorialize the dead, but yet walk all over those whose blood we share. I say this because I have family that I don't talk to. I have my reasons and I'm not going to call anyone out, not that they read this anyway, but still.....it just makes me sad because we used to be kind of close once.
All I'm really trying to say is to treat each other the way you would want to be treated. It seems like a simple thing. Yet, it's something we struggle with every day of our lives. Maybe because we don't treat ourselves very well. Maybe it's because we've chosen to believe the lie that we aren't worthy of being taken care of, or loved or to have someone sacrifice for us as one person. Just you, somebody thinking you're worth dying for, or fighting for, or taking care of you, or loving you.
I leave you with one of my favorite verses found in Psalms 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." Please, try to be kind to each other. We don't live forever in this life. We miss each other when we die. So love each other today. Love, Patty
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Hey, remember me??
Good Morning Everyone,
It's been a while since I've written to you. I hope you accept my apologies if you've missed my musings. Today is rainy and very foggy....that kind of sounds like me. LOL. I don't really have a specific subject I want to talk about. It's more just thoughts that have been running through my head. I hope you bear with me on another basically pointless blog.
I've been going through boxes of stuff and finding all kinds of things that are going to go to a yard sale here in the small town I moved to almost a year ago. I know I'm known as pattyinomaha, but now I'm pattyinblair. And next weekend they are having a city wide garage sale. I had planned to go and see these garage sales, but instead I'm having one with my sister. We have so much stuff to get rid of...I'm amazed by how many things I thought were important have earned their way into the yard sale box.
Today, as I mentioned is rainy and foggy, but it's also thundering.....it is going to be a difficult day to stay out of bed. In fact, what was that? Yep, I thought so, that was my bed calling my name. You can bet I will be staying close to it today. Everybody laughs about the weather in NE. It's always been, wait 10 minutes, it'll change. Sometimes that's true, but not always.
I had a sister that just got home yesterday after having extensive back surgery. She's doing very well so I thank all of you who prayed for her and who continue to pray for me. It means a lot and it does help, I promise. Please continue to pray that I get a court date soon for my disability. It's been over a year and I desperately need to have some sort of income coming in. Not really because we're not getting by, but because the pain has increased so much and I need to be able to have things looked at and I can't afford it. My basic needs are being taken care of and I'm SO incredibly thankful for my sister.
Today I leave you with one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest."
Until next time, please treat each other kindly. We live in a broken world with broken people. We all could use a little kindness. Love, Patty
It's been a while since I've written to you. I hope you accept my apologies if you've missed my musings. Today is rainy and very foggy....that kind of sounds like me. LOL. I don't really have a specific subject I want to talk about. It's more just thoughts that have been running through my head. I hope you bear with me on another basically pointless blog.
I've been going through boxes of stuff and finding all kinds of things that are going to go to a yard sale here in the small town I moved to almost a year ago. I know I'm known as pattyinomaha, but now I'm pattyinblair. And next weekend they are having a city wide garage sale. I had planned to go and see these garage sales, but instead I'm having one with my sister. We have so much stuff to get rid of...I'm amazed by how many things I thought were important have earned their way into the yard sale box.
Today, as I mentioned is rainy and foggy, but it's also thundering.....it is going to be a difficult day to stay out of bed. In fact, what was that? Yep, I thought so, that was my bed calling my name. You can bet I will be staying close to it today. Everybody laughs about the weather in NE. It's always been, wait 10 minutes, it'll change. Sometimes that's true, but not always.
I had a sister that just got home yesterday after having extensive back surgery. She's doing very well so I thank all of you who prayed for her and who continue to pray for me. It means a lot and it does help, I promise. Please continue to pray that I get a court date soon for my disability. It's been over a year and I desperately need to have some sort of income coming in. Not really because we're not getting by, but because the pain has increased so much and I need to be able to have things looked at and I can't afford it. My basic needs are being taken care of and I'm SO incredibly thankful for my sister.
Today I leave you with one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest."
Until next time, please treat each other kindly. We live in a broken world with broken people. We all could use a little kindness. Love, Patty
Monday, May 19, 2014
I get by with a little help from my Meds....
Good Morning Everyone,
As many of you know, I struggle with chronic pain brought on my Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, Depression and PTSD. There, that's all of them laid out for you. There are some days that I appear to be normal. Actually, most days I appear normal, unless you count the days that I look hunched back. I think there are a lot of people, Doctors included who have no idea what Fibromyalgia actually is. I think that's because it's many different symptoms, which can appear random. But, if you're educated on the illness, you would realize that fibromyalgia or fibro as I usually refer to it, follows along the nerves in your body. So wherever you have nerves, you can potentially have pain there. There are nerves all over our body. There are days when I can point to a SPOT on my head that hurts deeply. Other days, my arms are just in so much pain. But, It's always in my lower back and my knees......always. This would be due to the other illnesses.
What makes these physical things difficult is that I also suffer from Depression and occasionally, PTSD, which is post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is usually reserved for people coming back from war. I believe that's where the term originated from. However, there are many of us that have had traumatic events both physically and mentally that have altered our lives in ways that have damaged us. I guess that's as good a way to put it as any. The amount of people that suffer from these silent, non-visual illnesses is climbing every day. Yet, most people will tell you in their helpful way to snap out of it......if you would just be more active you would feel better........let go, let God.......you look fine......all of these little sayings are from people who are trying to help....they think. Actually, it's more damaging. It makes those of us who suffer feel inadequate, like maybe they're right and that causes us to do too much, which of course, brings on another couple of days of recuperation. It's a viscous never-ending circle. When we feel good, we do too much, due to trying to catch up on all the things we weren't able to do for the previous who knows how many days.
All I really want to express here is to be aware. Sometimes people are suffering even though they're smiling. Sometimes, people are in a lot of pain, even though they are standing upright and walking around at the store. Sometimes, people are so emotionally drained after a night of nightmares, reliving some of our trauma that holding our end of a conversation is just too much.
It was not my intent to have anyone feel sorry for anyone, especially me. But, to educate you on what others, like me, might be enduring. Your helpful words can sometimes cause more pain. Sometimes a hug is more than a person can handle. Proceed with caution would be a good way to begin. Awareness can make all the difference in the world. Today I leave you with one of my favorite verses in Phillipians chapter 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." While this is true, it's not always in the timely fashion I would hope for. Take care of each other and don't neglect yourself. Love, Patty
As many of you know, I struggle with chronic pain brought on my Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteoarthritis, Depression and PTSD. There, that's all of them laid out for you. There are some days that I appear to be normal. Actually, most days I appear normal, unless you count the days that I look hunched back. I think there are a lot of people, Doctors included who have no idea what Fibromyalgia actually is. I think that's because it's many different symptoms, which can appear random. But, if you're educated on the illness, you would realize that fibromyalgia or fibro as I usually refer to it, follows along the nerves in your body. So wherever you have nerves, you can potentially have pain there. There are nerves all over our body. There are days when I can point to a SPOT on my head that hurts deeply. Other days, my arms are just in so much pain. But, It's always in my lower back and my knees......always. This would be due to the other illnesses.
What makes these physical things difficult is that I also suffer from Depression and occasionally, PTSD, which is post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is usually reserved for people coming back from war. I believe that's where the term originated from. However, there are many of us that have had traumatic events both physically and mentally that have altered our lives in ways that have damaged us. I guess that's as good a way to put it as any. The amount of people that suffer from these silent, non-visual illnesses is climbing every day. Yet, most people will tell you in their helpful way to snap out of it......if you would just be more active you would feel better........let go, let God.......you look fine......all of these little sayings are from people who are trying to help....they think. Actually, it's more damaging. It makes those of us who suffer feel inadequate, like maybe they're right and that causes us to do too much, which of course, brings on another couple of days of recuperation. It's a viscous never-ending circle. When we feel good, we do too much, due to trying to catch up on all the things we weren't able to do for the previous who knows how many days.
All I really want to express here is to be aware. Sometimes people are suffering even though they're smiling. Sometimes, people are in a lot of pain, even though they are standing upright and walking around at the store. Sometimes, people are so emotionally drained after a night of nightmares, reliving some of our trauma that holding our end of a conversation is just too much.
It was not my intent to have anyone feel sorry for anyone, especially me. But, to educate you on what others, like me, might be enduring. Your helpful words can sometimes cause more pain. Sometimes a hug is more than a person can handle. Proceed with caution would be a good way to begin. Awareness can make all the difference in the world. Today I leave you with one of my favorite verses in Phillipians chapter 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." While this is true, it's not always in the timely fashion I would hope for. Take care of each other and don't neglect yourself. Love, Patty
Friday, May 16, 2014
We are called to be Holy
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning I opened my Bible to see what the Lord had in mind for me to write about. I have to tell you I'm just as surprised as you are. He sent me straight to I Peter 1:13-16, "Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, 'YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.'" I say WOW to all that. It's not at all what I was expecting to write about. I'm not sure what to say after that.
There are a lot of days when I know exactly what I want to write about and even have written it the night before so it's ready in the morning to send. That's not what happened today. I woke up early, because I just haven't been very active. Therefore require less sleep.
Also, just to let you know, your prayers have helped my friend with getting the mortgage covered. Thank you for praying for that. The father in the hospital is waiting to find out which option would work better for him. Please continue to pray for wisdom for the Dr's and peace for the loved ones.
Okay, what about those verses? I'm just going to say the first thought I had after reading it. After the WOW. It is a call to action, "gird your minds for action" the action that Peter is referring to is to keep sober in spirit, fix your hope on His grace, do not be conformed to the former lusts, and finally, BE HOLY!! He's not asking a lot is he? In this day and age, where everyone has sex before marriage, where alcohol and drugs (in some states) are available everywhere. Everything we watch on the television is so unholy that I hate to admit to watching it at all. It makes me thankful for Netflix and VUDU so I truly can pick and choose what I watch. So, technology isn't so bad......all the time. Anyway, my point is that to be holy is not an easy action to take up. I'd like to say especially now with temptation at every door. It's not like it was say 100 years ago. Being holy then is not at all the same as it is today. I wonder if we'll be graded on the curve? Actually, I know we are, because Jesus already took care of the temptation for us. We just need to follow His example all the way through to the end.
But here's the thing, we Christians, decided when we first chose to trust, to take the road less traveled. There will not be anyone on that road cheering us on. Unless you look at what's inside of you. We are called to travel a different road than anyone else. Do you take that seriously? I can tell you in all honesty, I've struggled with that. But, I have not veered to far off the correct path. Sometimes we may feel we're miles from where we should be, but all it takes is one right move to put us back on the chosen path.
So, where are you headed today? Where am I headed today? I guess I'm going to need a cup of coffee to really get that part down. In the meantime, please continue to pray for my friend, myself and any thing else you can think of, like those in office. Until next time, take care of each other and that means you. Love, Patty
This morning I opened my Bible to see what the Lord had in mind for me to write about. I have to tell you I'm just as surprised as you are. He sent me straight to I Peter 1:13-16, "Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, 'YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.'" I say WOW to all that. It's not at all what I was expecting to write about. I'm not sure what to say after that.
There are a lot of days when I know exactly what I want to write about and even have written it the night before so it's ready in the morning to send. That's not what happened today. I woke up early, because I just haven't been very active. Therefore require less sleep.
Also, just to let you know, your prayers have helped my friend with getting the mortgage covered. Thank you for praying for that. The father in the hospital is waiting to find out which option would work better for him. Please continue to pray for wisdom for the Dr's and peace for the loved ones.
Okay, what about those verses? I'm just going to say the first thought I had after reading it. After the WOW. It is a call to action, "gird your minds for action" the action that Peter is referring to is to keep sober in spirit, fix your hope on His grace, do not be conformed to the former lusts, and finally, BE HOLY!! He's not asking a lot is he? In this day and age, where everyone has sex before marriage, where alcohol and drugs (in some states) are available everywhere. Everything we watch on the television is so unholy that I hate to admit to watching it at all. It makes me thankful for Netflix and VUDU so I truly can pick and choose what I watch. So, technology isn't so bad......all the time. Anyway, my point is that to be holy is not an easy action to take up. I'd like to say especially now with temptation at every door. It's not like it was say 100 years ago. Being holy then is not at all the same as it is today. I wonder if we'll be graded on the curve? Actually, I know we are, because Jesus already took care of the temptation for us. We just need to follow His example all the way through to the end.
But here's the thing, we Christians, decided when we first chose to trust, to take the road less traveled. There will not be anyone on that road cheering us on. Unless you look at what's inside of you. We are called to travel a different road than anyone else. Do you take that seriously? I can tell you in all honesty, I've struggled with that. But, I have not veered to far off the correct path. Sometimes we may feel we're miles from where we should be, but all it takes is one right move to put us back on the chosen path.
So, where are you headed today? Where am I headed today? I guess I'm going to need a cup of coffee to really get that part down. In the meantime, please continue to pray for my friend, myself and any thing else you can think of, like those in office. Until next time, take care of each other and that means you. Love, Patty
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Be Wise and Pray!!
Good Morning Everyone,
I'm sorry about yesterday, but my grandson showed up pretty early and kept me REALLY busy most of the day. Today, I have a couple of observations that I'd like to just touch on really. Have you heard the phrase "what others think of you is none of your business"? To be honest, I hadn't even considered the concept until this past year. I still have a little difficulty keeping perspective on it. Personally, I have questions. Why is it none of my business? Should they even be talking about me? Why can't I know? Let's start with the first question. Why is it none of my business? Proverbs 18:15 can help with that, it states "The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge" So, in my opinion, what others think of you is basically gossip and is not profitable for anyone. I think it causes strife where strife is not necessary. We all have errant thoughts, they don't all have to be shared. So the second question, "Should they even be talking about me?" is answered with the same proverb. Is your ear seeking knowledge that is prudent and profitable? Is it news you can use? Probably not. I think the third question, "Why can't I know?" has already been answered, because it doesn't profit a man. Proverbs, once again, has a good response in Chapter 18:2 "A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind." This fool Proverbs is referring to is probably the original person you heard speaking of you in the first place.
I hope that made sense to someone because I woke up out of a sound sleep to write that. If you have difficulties understanding it, than my advice to you is to stick to the scripture and not my musings.
We truly are living in perilous times. None of us is safe from the consequences of our own actions, but also we can suffer from the actions of the people we elect to represent our views in government. I really believe that now more than ever, we need to pray for the people who make the decisions, who make the laws, who consider what is right and what is wrong. I have found if you have any questions about if something is right or wrong, all you have to do is go to The Lord, His Word will guide you to the correct path.
I have a prayer request if any of you are willing. I've asked for prayer for my depression and my pain. I want you to know that I feel those prayers. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Today though, I'm asking for prayer for a friend of mine. This person is a single parent trying to cover a hefty mortgage and is currently unable to work. Yesterday, this person's father was hospitalized. I don't know the reasons why, but I would ask you to pray for this parent's bills to be provided for and for healing for the father in the hospital. I know that none of us are going to live forever, unless Jesus comes before we die......that would be so cool. But, while we're here, we need to help each other through some of these tough spots. Providing prayer support is an important undertaking and for those of you willing, I truly thank you. You are prayer warriors, and that is a necessary fruit of the spirit.
Until next time, pray for one another and be good to each other, including yourself. Love, Patty
I'm sorry about yesterday, but my grandson showed up pretty early and kept me REALLY busy most of the day. Today, I have a couple of observations that I'd like to just touch on really. Have you heard the phrase "what others think of you is none of your business"? To be honest, I hadn't even considered the concept until this past year. I still have a little difficulty keeping perspective on it. Personally, I have questions. Why is it none of my business? Should they even be talking about me? Why can't I know? Let's start with the first question. Why is it none of my business? Proverbs 18:15 can help with that, it states "The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge" So, in my opinion, what others think of you is basically gossip and is not profitable for anyone. I think it causes strife where strife is not necessary. We all have errant thoughts, they don't all have to be shared. So the second question, "Should they even be talking about me?" is answered with the same proverb. Is your ear seeking knowledge that is prudent and profitable? Is it news you can use? Probably not. I think the third question, "Why can't I know?" has already been answered, because it doesn't profit a man. Proverbs, once again, has a good response in Chapter 18:2 "A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind." This fool Proverbs is referring to is probably the original person you heard speaking of you in the first place.
I hope that made sense to someone because I woke up out of a sound sleep to write that. If you have difficulties understanding it, than my advice to you is to stick to the scripture and not my musings.
We truly are living in perilous times. None of us is safe from the consequences of our own actions, but also we can suffer from the actions of the people we elect to represent our views in government. I really believe that now more than ever, we need to pray for the people who make the decisions, who make the laws, who consider what is right and what is wrong. I have found if you have any questions about if something is right or wrong, all you have to do is go to The Lord, His Word will guide you to the correct path.
I have a prayer request if any of you are willing. I've asked for prayer for my depression and my pain. I want you to know that I feel those prayers. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Today though, I'm asking for prayer for a friend of mine. This person is a single parent trying to cover a hefty mortgage and is currently unable to work. Yesterday, this person's father was hospitalized. I don't know the reasons why, but I would ask you to pray for this parent's bills to be provided for and for healing for the father in the hospital. I know that none of us are going to live forever, unless Jesus comes before we die......that would be so cool. But, while we're here, we need to help each other through some of these tough spots. Providing prayer support is an important undertaking and for those of you willing, I truly thank you. You are prayer warriors, and that is a necessary fruit of the spirit.
Until next time, pray for one another and be good to each other, including yourself. Love, Patty
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Random thoughts and other scary things.
Good Morning Everyone,
I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to talk about today. I suppose I may have lost some of you yesterday due to the information I provided from my past. I hope that is not the case. I try very hard to be honest with others but that doesn't always have a positive outcome. Sometimes, people can't handle the truth. I think that's true for a lot of people. I, for one, appreciate truth. I'd rather be told one truth, then 5 lies to make me feel better. I'm very aware of my faults and I accept them. That doesn't mean I like them. It is what it is. You know?
I was reading this morning in the Bible and was reading John chapter 16.....there are so many good verses to take from that chapter alone. So much of what Jesus says is appropriate for today. II Timothy 3:16-17 says that "All scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." That just kind of came to me out of the blue, it must mean that I need to go with that a little bit. There is so much going on with our world today. It's very scary times we live in. Wars and rumors of wars.....sound familiar? It should. Have courage, because this too shall pass. And as I've said before, I've read the Book and the good guys win.
I want to go back and clarify something about honesty. Honesty is important, but it also changes as we grow. Let me explain. I can look at someone and say they are not attractive upon meeting them. However, as you get to know someone, their inner beauty comes out and someone you wouldn't have been attracted to begin with, is suddenly someone you have come to love. I think it's important to take the time to get to know people. With all the dating sites out there and those little 5 minute meet and greet type things. How would you ever decide who you could love? All I'm saying is to take the time to know someone before you write them off. Friendship first creates a foundation that is not easily broken. You have to be able to know a person before you decide who they are to you.
Now, how do I bring all this random stuff together? Actually it's not random at all. These are things I'm thinking about. On the one hand, there is scripture which is there to help me make decisions for whatever questions I may have. On the other hand is all this scary stuff like wars and possibly dating. Believe me, both things are equally scary. But, if you put things in perspective it's not so scary. Jesus already said in John 16:1 "These things I have spoken to you that you may be kept from stumbling." That really is more important to me than anything else. We have the tools, but are we willing? Which translates into, I have the tools, and am I willing? I don't have to worry about what ever may come. I have the answers right in front of me. Not only for the big things, but the small things too. That's comforting for me to know. I pray it comforts you too.
Take care of each other, these are perilous times. We need each other. Love, Patty
I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to talk about today. I suppose I may have lost some of you yesterday due to the information I provided from my past. I hope that is not the case. I try very hard to be honest with others but that doesn't always have a positive outcome. Sometimes, people can't handle the truth. I think that's true for a lot of people. I, for one, appreciate truth. I'd rather be told one truth, then 5 lies to make me feel better. I'm very aware of my faults and I accept them. That doesn't mean I like them. It is what it is. You know?
I was reading this morning in the Bible and was reading John chapter 16.....there are so many good verses to take from that chapter alone. So much of what Jesus says is appropriate for today. II Timothy 3:16-17 says that "All scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." That just kind of came to me out of the blue, it must mean that I need to go with that a little bit. There is so much going on with our world today. It's very scary times we live in. Wars and rumors of wars.....sound familiar? It should. Have courage, because this too shall pass. And as I've said before, I've read the Book and the good guys win.
I want to go back and clarify something about honesty. Honesty is important, but it also changes as we grow. Let me explain. I can look at someone and say they are not attractive upon meeting them. However, as you get to know someone, their inner beauty comes out and someone you wouldn't have been attracted to begin with, is suddenly someone you have come to love. I think it's important to take the time to get to know people. With all the dating sites out there and those little 5 minute meet and greet type things. How would you ever decide who you could love? All I'm saying is to take the time to know someone before you write them off. Friendship first creates a foundation that is not easily broken. You have to be able to know a person before you decide who they are to you.
Now, how do I bring all this random stuff together? Actually it's not random at all. These are things I'm thinking about. On the one hand, there is scripture which is there to help me make decisions for whatever questions I may have. On the other hand is all this scary stuff like wars and possibly dating. Believe me, both things are equally scary. But, if you put things in perspective it's not so scary. Jesus already said in John 16:1 "These things I have spoken to you that you may be kept from stumbling." That really is more important to me than anything else. We have the tools, but are we willing? Which translates into, I have the tools, and am I willing? I don't have to worry about what ever may come. I have the answers right in front of me. Not only for the big things, but the small things too. That's comforting for me to know. I pray it comforts you too.
Take care of each other, these are perilous times. We need each other. Love, Patty
Monday, May 12, 2014
Peace in the worst of times.......I am free indeed
Good Morning Everyone,
I want to wish all the Mother's out there a belated Happy Mother's Day. I hope yours was as relaxing as mine was. Honestly, I don't think mine could have been any more relaxed than it was. I had so much relaxation yesterday that I've been woke up with restless legs this morning. I dislike that very much.
Today I'd like to talk about Peace. Internal peace not world wide peace. I don't want to talk about world wide peace because we have not been promised that kind of peace until the thousand year reign with Jesus. But, that's another blog. I'm talking about Peace that surpasses understanding. I'm talking about looking at 50 years in prison and still having peace. I'm talking about my past. And the gift that God gave me through my honesty and faith.
The year 2000 changed my life and the lives of my family. At the time, I was the middle man in drug connections. You see, I couldn't afford to buy drugs because of my kids, but if I arranged the sale of drugs, the dealer would give me a little kick-back for arranging the sale. It worked out great until the police came to my door, and I thought it was a friend of mine and opened the door.......you can imagine the chaos that resulted in that action. I tried to keep my drug use separated from my kids. I didn't always succeed, but thankfully they were with their dad that night and they weren't traumatized by my actions at that time.....that came later, trust me.
After my arraignment, I was sent upstairs to have a test of sorts. That's where they take all the information that I provided and come up with their recommendations for me. Their recommendation was the maximum. 50 years in prison. You see I was busted for possession of a controlled substance with the intent to sell. And since it happened in my apartment, which happened to be close to the high school, that doubled the time. So, 5 years for possession, 20 for distribution, near the high school doubled is 50. But I told the truth to the judge. I ignored my public defenders advice and spoke the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. The judge literally said that he'd never had anyone in his courtroom be as honest as I was. He didn't know what to do with me. He sincerely said all that. In the end, I was given 6 months in the county jail and with good time, I did 4 months. I was also on probation for 2 years which was successfully completed. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I never messed up again. I had my failures afterward, but it didn't take very much to remind me that drugs were not the answer. The day before I was supposed to turn myself in, my little sister died of cancer. They allowed me another week to attend her services. I was in jail for almost 2 months when I was informed that my best friend was in the hospital with AIDS. I was shocked, I had no idea he had AIDS. The guards had me as a trustee and allowed me to call him. I spoke to him on the phone and he died a couple of days later.
My point in telling you these things is not for you to judge me. I sincerely wish you don't. I can take it if you do. But, I want you to know that during the most difficult time of my life I had PEACE!! Peace that surpasses understanding. I went through the worst time of my life hand in hand with The Lord. I was nervous yes, but I knew that I could handle whatever the judge gave me. I knew He would be right there with me.
Today, I don't drink but a glass of wine once or twice a year. No drugs at all other than whats prescribed to me from my doctor. My 3 year drug bender almost cost me my life, literally. I know the Peace that surpasses understanding that Phillipians 4 talks about. I hope I got that right. I know what it's like to lose everything and have my kids look at me through the glass crying because I couldn't touch them. It's not something I'd recommend for anyone. That 4 months in jail changed me, for the better. It's a time in my life that I recall with fondness. I learned that cops weren't the bad guys, they're just people like you and me doing their job.
There is SO much more to this story I wish I could tell you all of it. But, there just isn't enough time or space. Just trust me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel you've found yourself in. The truth shall indeed set you free. For I am free indeed. Even in jail, I was free. Until next time, I ask you to consider what the next person you meet might be going through and smile. Say hello, pray for them. Take care of yourself and others. Love, Patty
I want to wish all the Mother's out there a belated Happy Mother's Day. I hope yours was as relaxing as mine was. Honestly, I don't think mine could have been any more relaxed than it was. I had so much relaxation yesterday that I've been woke up with restless legs this morning. I dislike that very much.
Today I'd like to talk about Peace. Internal peace not world wide peace. I don't want to talk about world wide peace because we have not been promised that kind of peace until the thousand year reign with Jesus. But, that's another blog. I'm talking about Peace that surpasses understanding. I'm talking about looking at 50 years in prison and still having peace. I'm talking about my past. And the gift that God gave me through my honesty and faith.
The year 2000 changed my life and the lives of my family. At the time, I was the middle man in drug connections. You see, I couldn't afford to buy drugs because of my kids, but if I arranged the sale of drugs, the dealer would give me a little kick-back for arranging the sale. It worked out great until the police came to my door, and I thought it was a friend of mine and opened the door.......you can imagine the chaos that resulted in that action. I tried to keep my drug use separated from my kids. I didn't always succeed, but thankfully they were with their dad that night and they weren't traumatized by my actions at that time.....that came later, trust me.
After my arraignment, I was sent upstairs to have a test of sorts. That's where they take all the information that I provided and come up with their recommendations for me. Their recommendation was the maximum. 50 years in prison. You see I was busted for possession of a controlled substance with the intent to sell. And since it happened in my apartment, which happened to be close to the high school, that doubled the time. So, 5 years for possession, 20 for distribution, near the high school doubled is 50. But I told the truth to the judge. I ignored my public defenders advice and spoke the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. The judge literally said that he'd never had anyone in his courtroom be as honest as I was. He didn't know what to do with me. He sincerely said all that. In the end, I was given 6 months in the county jail and with good time, I did 4 months. I was also on probation for 2 years which was successfully completed. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I never messed up again. I had my failures afterward, but it didn't take very much to remind me that drugs were not the answer. The day before I was supposed to turn myself in, my little sister died of cancer. They allowed me another week to attend her services. I was in jail for almost 2 months when I was informed that my best friend was in the hospital with AIDS. I was shocked, I had no idea he had AIDS. The guards had me as a trustee and allowed me to call him. I spoke to him on the phone and he died a couple of days later.
My point in telling you these things is not for you to judge me. I sincerely wish you don't. I can take it if you do. But, I want you to know that during the most difficult time of my life I had PEACE!! Peace that surpasses understanding. I went through the worst time of my life hand in hand with The Lord. I was nervous yes, but I knew that I could handle whatever the judge gave me. I knew He would be right there with me.
Today, I don't drink but a glass of wine once or twice a year. No drugs at all other than whats prescribed to me from my doctor. My 3 year drug bender almost cost me my life, literally. I know the Peace that surpasses understanding that Phillipians 4 talks about. I hope I got that right. I know what it's like to lose everything and have my kids look at me through the glass crying because I couldn't touch them. It's not something I'd recommend for anyone. That 4 months in jail changed me, for the better. It's a time in my life that I recall with fondness. I learned that cops weren't the bad guys, they're just people like you and me doing their job.
There is SO much more to this story I wish I could tell you all of it. But, there just isn't enough time or space. Just trust me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel you've found yourself in. The truth shall indeed set you free. For I am free indeed. Even in jail, I was free. Until next time, I ask you to consider what the next person you meet might be going through and smile. Say hello, pray for them. Take care of yourself and others. Love, Patty
Friday, May 9, 2014
Depression is not for the weak
Good Morning,
Why do we lie to others about the way we're feeling? Why do we answer with "fine", when asked how we're doing? There is a very high percentage of us that deal with depression EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why do we keep our mouths shut? There is no shame in having depression. Most people I know deal with depression sometimes, yet even they are reluctant to admit when they're feeling low.....because they don't want to "burden" their friends.
Burden me please!!! I would rather have someone tell me how they're feeling than have someone I care about suffer. Wouldn't you? I find myself doing the same thing. This is why I tend to be a loner these days. I'm just as guilty. It doesn't have to be this way. Nowadays, you see celebrities saying publicly that they too suffer from depression and they're called "brave" for sharing with others that they too are people, just like us. I guess it does take a type of bravery to let others know that you've been strong for too long. Eventually any one trying to shoulder so much burden, will break if they don't have the burden taken or lifted for a time. Depression is not for the weak. Depression is when you've been strong for too long. Somebody else said that.....I'd give credit where credit is due, but don't know who said it.....just know that it's true none the less.
I think there are a lot of people out there who know of someone they knew once or a friend who lost someone to suicide. It's not something to take lightly. You read about it and think why didn't they talk to someone? How could their family not have known? It's easily hidden, this thing called depression. We can smile and no one knows the difference because no one takes the time to really talk any more. We pass by people on the street without even a hello or how ya doing because we're too caught up in our phones and Ipads. We don't see each other anymore. It's sad. Do we have a national depression day? If not, we should. Not that it would fix anything. We need to care about each other more. Look people in the eye when we speak to them. Maybe you can save a life today, just by acknowledging someone who is lonely. A smile goes a whole lot further than you think.
Today I leave you with a verse out of Psalms 139:23-24"Search me, O God and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." I pray those words for all of you today, and myself of course, because everyone knows I have depression. Until next time, take care of yourselves and others.......Love, Patty
Why do we lie to others about the way we're feeling? Why do we answer with "fine", when asked how we're doing? There is a very high percentage of us that deal with depression EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why do we keep our mouths shut? There is no shame in having depression. Most people I know deal with depression sometimes, yet even they are reluctant to admit when they're feeling low.....because they don't want to "burden" their friends.
Burden me please!!! I would rather have someone tell me how they're feeling than have someone I care about suffer. Wouldn't you? I find myself doing the same thing. This is why I tend to be a loner these days. I'm just as guilty. It doesn't have to be this way. Nowadays, you see celebrities saying publicly that they too suffer from depression and they're called "brave" for sharing with others that they too are people, just like us. I guess it does take a type of bravery to let others know that you've been strong for too long. Eventually any one trying to shoulder so much burden, will break if they don't have the burden taken or lifted for a time. Depression is not for the weak. Depression is when you've been strong for too long. Somebody else said that.....I'd give credit where credit is due, but don't know who said it.....just know that it's true none the less.
I think there are a lot of people out there who know of someone they knew once or a friend who lost someone to suicide. It's not something to take lightly. You read about it and think why didn't they talk to someone? How could their family not have known? It's easily hidden, this thing called depression. We can smile and no one knows the difference because no one takes the time to really talk any more. We pass by people on the street without even a hello or how ya doing because we're too caught up in our phones and Ipads. We don't see each other anymore. It's sad. Do we have a national depression day? If not, we should. Not that it would fix anything. We need to care about each other more. Look people in the eye when we speak to them. Maybe you can save a life today, just by acknowledging someone who is lonely. A smile goes a whole lot further than you think.
Today I leave you with a verse out of Psalms 139:23-24"Search me, O God and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." I pray those words for all of you today, and myself of course, because everyone knows I have depression. Until next time, take care of yourselves and others.......Love, Patty
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Where do I fit in?
Good Morning everyone,
Today I'm going to go outside of my comfort zone. The first thing I want to say is I heard that the unemployment rate is lower than blah, blah, blah. I can tell you how that happened. It's only lower because they cut people off of unemployment. So there are a whole group of people out there who are not employed and who "don't qualify anymore" who are just surviving on the generosity of family and friends. That low unemployment rate is NOT accurate and they know this but, it does look impressive on paper doesn't it. I was cut off after 20 weeks or so. Technically I don't qualify for it anymore anyway, but that's not the point. The point is that I should be included in that statistic, instead.....I'm kind of off the grid so to speak. So, what category am I in? Where do I fit in?
Okay, Okay, enough of american politics. This is supposed to be the good life here in Nebraska. Our sign as you enter the state says so. I tell you what I've learned today......if a politician is speaking, then.....whatever you do.....don't listen. It's bound to bring you down.
I have had to force myself to remember the Bible, it has all the answers in there. The best part is, the good guys win at the end. I truly believe that is true. All this stupid stuff like politics and democrats and republicans and people like me who don't have a preference for either party, but instead vote for the person, not the party. None of that makes a bit of difference. What will be, will be! It doesn't matter who we put into office, God is in control of the outcome. It doesn't matter by what route He comes through. He will take over and for that I'm so thankful. It makes me feel better when I look at my grandchildren and the world we've created for them. It's shameful and sad. We've allowed electronics and computers and phones to take over our social skills. I'm one of them by writing this blog, but so far I haven't made any money so it really doesn't count. However, I can say that I'm not a very social person anymore. But that has more to do with pain and depression than it does with my social skills. So, I don't count.
Well, this is not at all the kind of thing I'd planned to write. In fact, I have no idea where all this is coming from. I am a willing vessel though, so you're going to get this post regardless. It's not like there's a whole lot of people that are influenced by my words. Hopefully, you're more influenced by Gods Word.
Today I leave you with a verse of promise found in John 14:2-3 the words written in red, read " In My Father's house are many dwelling places: if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself that where I am, there you may be also."
So you see, that's where I fit in. Right where I should be; in My Father's house. I ask for continued prayer and that you would all take care of each other and yourself, until next time.....Love, Patty
Today I'm going to go outside of my comfort zone. The first thing I want to say is I heard that the unemployment rate is lower than blah, blah, blah. I can tell you how that happened. It's only lower because they cut people off of unemployment. So there are a whole group of people out there who are not employed and who "don't qualify anymore" who are just surviving on the generosity of family and friends. That low unemployment rate is NOT accurate and they know this but, it does look impressive on paper doesn't it. I was cut off after 20 weeks or so. Technically I don't qualify for it anymore anyway, but that's not the point. The point is that I should be included in that statistic, instead.....I'm kind of off the grid so to speak. So, what category am I in? Where do I fit in?
Okay, Okay, enough of american politics. This is supposed to be the good life here in Nebraska. Our sign as you enter the state says so. I tell you what I've learned today......if a politician is speaking, then.....whatever you do.....don't listen. It's bound to bring you down.
I have had to force myself to remember the Bible, it has all the answers in there. The best part is, the good guys win at the end. I truly believe that is true. All this stupid stuff like politics and democrats and republicans and people like me who don't have a preference for either party, but instead vote for the person, not the party. None of that makes a bit of difference. What will be, will be! It doesn't matter who we put into office, God is in control of the outcome. It doesn't matter by what route He comes through. He will take over and for that I'm so thankful. It makes me feel better when I look at my grandchildren and the world we've created for them. It's shameful and sad. We've allowed electronics and computers and phones to take over our social skills. I'm one of them by writing this blog, but so far I haven't made any money so it really doesn't count. However, I can say that I'm not a very social person anymore. But that has more to do with pain and depression than it does with my social skills. So, I don't count.
Well, this is not at all the kind of thing I'd planned to write. In fact, I have no idea where all this is coming from. I am a willing vessel though, so you're going to get this post regardless. It's not like there's a whole lot of people that are influenced by my words. Hopefully, you're more influenced by Gods Word.
Today I leave you with a verse of promise found in John 14:2-3 the words written in red, read " In My Father's house are many dwelling places: if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself that where I am, there you may be also."
So you see, that's where I fit in. Right where I should be; in My Father's house. I ask for continued prayer and that you would all take care of each other and yourself, until next time.....Love, Patty
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
I'm headed back to bed.
Hello Everyone,
I really don't have anything to talk about right now. I'm fighting my fibromyalgia today. I guess I did too much yesterday. I shared some wine with my kids for my 50th birthday, not much. They are all adults so that was kind of nice. My oldest son and I got the opportunity to bond again. It seems so much of his life, he's been so quiet and introverted. We were able to talk about that and I have a greater understanding of what makes him tick. It was very informative. It wasn't just my oldest son either. My youngest son is really doing well, I'm so proud of them both. Then you have my daughter....she's approximately 21 weeks pregnant and is doing very well. Trying to gather what all she will need to take care of her baby girl when she decides it's time. I'm so happy to have her in my daily life.
I'm going to relax today, spend some time reading, writing some things I'm thankful for down, and putting them in my "thankful box". Maybe I'll play a few games on facebook. I ask for your continued prayer for me. I still need prayer for pain, depression and for a court date for my disability claim. This being broke thing is not helpful. Or maybe just prayer that Jesus will come soon. That would be nice.
Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll have something profound to say.......but then if that was the truth, it wouldn't be my blog. lol. I'm looking forward to laying back down and getting back into my books. You all should relax today too. It's hump day for those of you working a 9-5 type job. I will talk to all of you tomorrow, today, follow my example and relax. God's still in control, take care of yourselves. Love, Patty
I really don't have anything to talk about right now. I'm fighting my fibromyalgia today. I guess I did too much yesterday. I shared some wine with my kids for my 50th birthday, not much. They are all adults so that was kind of nice. My oldest son and I got the opportunity to bond again. It seems so much of his life, he's been so quiet and introverted. We were able to talk about that and I have a greater understanding of what makes him tick. It was very informative. It wasn't just my oldest son either. My youngest son is really doing well, I'm so proud of them both. Then you have my daughter....she's approximately 21 weeks pregnant and is doing very well. Trying to gather what all she will need to take care of her baby girl when she decides it's time. I'm so happy to have her in my daily life.
I'm going to relax today, spend some time reading, writing some things I'm thankful for down, and putting them in my "thankful box". Maybe I'll play a few games on facebook. I ask for your continued prayer for me. I still need prayer for pain, depression and for a court date for my disability claim. This being broke thing is not helpful. Or maybe just prayer that Jesus will come soon. That would be nice.
Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll have something profound to say.......but then if that was the truth, it wouldn't be my blog. lol. I'm looking forward to laying back down and getting back into my books. You all should relax today too. It's hump day for those of you working a 9-5 type job. I will talk to all of you tomorrow, today, follow my example and relax. God's still in control, take care of yourselves. Love, Patty
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Today I'm 50.....what a ride...
Good Morning Everyone,
Today I turned 50 years old. Yeah, I know, I had the same reaction. It's strange to think of that number applying to me. My body may be 50 or even a larger number, but my mind still sees me as a young woman, sometimes a child. It seems a lifetime can be experienced many times within ones own life. Does that make sense to anyone but me? Don't you sometimes feel like you've already lived several lives? I think about my life as a child and even that was several lifetimes in and of itself, due to so many different life altering things that took place when I was young. By the time I was 12 years old, I'd lost my father, moved too many times to count, had a tornado on my birthday that took a whole lot of Omaha with it and my mother was held hostage, being the only one of 3 to be unharmed physically. And that's just some of the highlights. Thankfully, not all of my life has been that difficult.
Everyone has a story to tell, some are sadder than others. But each story is individual and uniquely experienced. No one will ever tell the exact same story as someone else because the perspective is different from different viewpoints. I thank God for that. We each are given a measure of difficult life circumstances. It doesn't always involve how much money one is brought up with either. I didn't always feel that way. I can remember thinking that if I just had all my bills taken care of, I could be happy. But as I've matured, of course that is not the truth. Happiness is not something you attain and always have from that point on. It's not a possession that one can buy.....though many have tried. Happiness is not a destination, or a person. Happiness can only be attained after you obtain something else.....contentment. I've seen contentment explained as being satisfied, but more accurately as "willing to accept circumstances". So I guess, sometimes I'm content and other times I'm not. So I believe that makes me a member of the human race.
Today I leave you with Phillippians 4:11-13 "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I pray these words for myself and all of you who read this. I believe I can say with sincerity, my life is beginning brand new today. After all everything else was half a century ago. Be good to each other, love Patty
Today I turned 50 years old. Yeah, I know, I had the same reaction. It's strange to think of that number applying to me. My body may be 50 or even a larger number, but my mind still sees me as a young woman, sometimes a child. It seems a lifetime can be experienced many times within ones own life. Does that make sense to anyone but me? Don't you sometimes feel like you've already lived several lives? I think about my life as a child and even that was several lifetimes in and of itself, due to so many different life altering things that took place when I was young. By the time I was 12 years old, I'd lost my father, moved too many times to count, had a tornado on my birthday that took a whole lot of Omaha with it and my mother was held hostage, being the only one of 3 to be unharmed physically. And that's just some of the highlights. Thankfully, not all of my life has been that difficult.
Everyone has a story to tell, some are sadder than others. But each story is individual and uniquely experienced. No one will ever tell the exact same story as someone else because the perspective is different from different viewpoints. I thank God for that. We each are given a measure of difficult life circumstances. It doesn't always involve how much money one is brought up with either. I didn't always feel that way. I can remember thinking that if I just had all my bills taken care of, I could be happy. But as I've matured, of course that is not the truth. Happiness is not something you attain and always have from that point on. It's not a possession that one can buy.....though many have tried. Happiness is not a destination, or a person. Happiness can only be attained after you obtain something else.....contentment. I've seen contentment explained as being satisfied, but more accurately as "willing to accept circumstances". So I guess, sometimes I'm content and other times I'm not. So I believe that makes me a member of the human race.
Today I leave you with Phillippians 4:11-13 "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I pray these words for myself and all of you who read this. I believe I can say with sincerity, my life is beginning brand new today. After all everything else was half a century ago. Be good to each other, love Patty
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Ancestors beware: I WILL find you
Good Morning everyone,
Today is Cinco De Mayo for those who celebrate that, enjoy all the cultural choices at your disposal today. I know Omaha has helped celebrate for many many years. More often in the south area of Omaha, so go get your grub on. Today, I got to thinking about my own back ground and heritage. I've been brought up to believe that I am mostly German, with some Norwegian and some English in me. A few years back, I was informed that I have Irish in me too.....wondered where those freckles and red hair came from when I was little. Now, I've learned that my ancestors came from Austria and there may just be some Jewish in me too. I'm looking forward to learning more about the different cultures that have made me who I am today. Of course I'll share those findings, even if you really don't care. :-)
I believe I've mentioned in previous posts that I grew up not knowing any of my dads side of the family. My father died when I was young and my memories of him are shaky at best. There are only about 5 pictures I've ever seen of him. You can imagine how blown away I've been by the amount of family I have on my dads side. I have half-siblings, nieces and nephews galore. I've never met any of them. Although I have talked to a brother of mine once about 6 or 7 years ago and spoke with a niece the other day for quite a long time. They are all kind of centered together not too many states away. My goal is to go to one of their family reunions so I can meet this family I grew up without. It's amazing to see some of their pictures that they have shared on Facebook. I am so thankful for this social media outlet. If it weren't for Facebook and the like, I would not have known how many cousins I actually have, let alone all the rest. So, thank you Facebook.
It's sad really. All that support and family that could have been mine. I can't help but wonder how different my life would have turned out if my father hadn't died so young. I obviously have no way of knowing the answer to that question. However, if I can use what I've seen on facebook as an indication......they seem to be very close to each other. They all know each other and they love each other and it really does show. It's kind of nice to see some family resemblance in some of their pictures.
It gives me hope to know that one day I'll meet this family of mine and will be accepted as one of their own. Until that happens I will just enjoy the posts they share and get to know them that way. Today I will leave you with a verse from the book of John, spoken by Jesus in chapter 15:17, "This I command you, that you love one another". Such a simple statement with worlds of meaning inside. Please continue to pray for me for my depression and pain. I appreciate that so much. Love, Patty
Today is Cinco De Mayo for those who celebrate that, enjoy all the cultural choices at your disposal today. I know Omaha has helped celebrate for many many years. More often in the south area of Omaha, so go get your grub on. Today, I got to thinking about my own back ground and heritage. I've been brought up to believe that I am mostly German, with some Norwegian and some English in me. A few years back, I was informed that I have Irish in me too.....wondered where those freckles and red hair came from when I was little. Now, I've learned that my ancestors came from Austria and there may just be some Jewish in me too. I'm looking forward to learning more about the different cultures that have made me who I am today. Of course I'll share those findings, even if you really don't care. :-)
I believe I've mentioned in previous posts that I grew up not knowing any of my dads side of the family. My father died when I was young and my memories of him are shaky at best. There are only about 5 pictures I've ever seen of him. You can imagine how blown away I've been by the amount of family I have on my dads side. I have half-siblings, nieces and nephews galore. I've never met any of them. Although I have talked to a brother of mine once about 6 or 7 years ago and spoke with a niece the other day for quite a long time. They are all kind of centered together not too many states away. My goal is to go to one of their family reunions so I can meet this family I grew up without. It's amazing to see some of their pictures that they have shared on Facebook. I am so thankful for this social media outlet. If it weren't for Facebook and the like, I would not have known how many cousins I actually have, let alone all the rest. So, thank you Facebook.
It's sad really. All that support and family that could have been mine. I can't help but wonder how different my life would have turned out if my father hadn't died so young. I obviously have no way of knowing the answer to that question. However, if I can use what I've seen on facebook as an indication......they seem to be very close to each other. They all know each other and they love each other and it really does show. It's kind of nice to see some family resemblance in some of their pictures.
It gives me hope to know that one day I'll meet this family of mine and will be accepted as one of their own. Until that happens I will just enjoy the posts they share and get to know them that way. Today I will leave you with a verse from the book of John, spoken by Jesus in chapter 15:17, "This I command you, that you love one another". Such a simple statement with worlds of meaning inside. Please continue to pray for me for my depression and pain. I appreciate that so much. Love, Patty
May the 4th be with you...,
Good Morning Everyone,
My grandson woke me up this morning by putting his foot into my face, then climbing on me and finally by giving me kisses.....I was awake the whole time, but really wanted to see what he would do next. He didn't once cry. It was way too cute. He has his own little remote and I got to tell you, it's just one of the cutest things I've ever seen. He's also learned how to fight when getting his diaper changed. He is a strong child. He is almost 7 months old, does the army crawl, quickly, rocks on his hands and knees. He's just getting so big, so fast. So you can see why I needed to be strong, so that's why I'm glad the 4th was with me....If you're not a Star Trek fan you may not get what I'm trying to say and I'm not going to take credit for it either....my son is the one who said it to me in such a way that even I understood what he meant.
So what does this day hold in store for me? How about you? I'm getting a late start and for me, that's not bad either. My grandson is safely tucked away for his morning nap as I try to finish what I started here. I always enjoy Sundays because everybody slows down. Not in a big rush all the time.
My kids have a VUDU acct and have opened my heart to the movie "Frozen" as have much of the country. I don't know if it's the music or the lovable characters or what, but I can't seem to get enough of it. Even my grandson fell asleep drinking his bottle while watching it with me. You know, I feel a bit frozen lately, maybe that's why I've had such a difficult time with my exile here. My exile without car, money, job, insurance. It is necessary to go through this but it's not easy either.
I will leave you a piece of hope that I got out of the Bible. It's in the book of John 14:18 and in red, it reads " I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." This verse ministers to me because I kind of feel like an orphan these days. Be blessed and may you realize you're not alone, none of us are if we choose not to be. Please continue to pray for me and my depression and pain. And may the 4th be with you.... Love, Patty
My grandson woke me up this morning by putting his foot into my face, then climbing on me and finally by giving me kisses.....I was awake the whole time, but really wanted to see what he would do next. He didn't once cry. It was way too cute. He has his own little remote and I got to tell you, it's just one of the cutest things I've ever seen. He's also learned how to fight when getting his diaper changed. He is a strong child. He is almost 7 months old, does the army crawl, quickly, rocks on his hands and knees. He's just getting so big, so fast. So you can see why I needed to be strong, so that's why I'm glad the 4th was with me....If you're not a Star Trek fan you may not get what I'm trying to say and I'm not going to take credit for it either....my son is the one who said it to me in such a way that even I understood what he meant.
So what does this day hold in store for me? How about you? I'm getting a late start and for me, that's not bad either. My grandson is safely tucked away for his morning nap as I try to finish what I started here. I always enjoy Sundays because everybody slows down. Not in a big rush all the time.
My kids have a VUDU acct and have opened my heart to the movie "Frozen" as have much of the country. I don't know if it's the music or the lovable characters or what, but I can't seem to get enough of it. Even my grandson fell asleep drinking his bottle while watching it with me. You know, I feel a bit frozen lately, maybe that's why I've had such a difficult time with my exile here. My exile without car, money, job, insurance. It is necessary to go through this but it's not easy either.
I will leave you a piece of hope that I got out of the Bible. It's in the book of John 14:18 and in red, it reads " I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." This verse ministers to me because I kind of feel like an orphan these days. Be blessed and may you realize you're not alone, none of us are if we choose not to be. Please continue to pray for me and my depression and pain. And may the 4th be with you.... Love, Patty
Saturday, May 3, 2014
This is not at all what I had in mind....
Good Morning Everyone,
I totally messed up. I've been writing my blog at night, then posting it first thing in the morning. I did something wrong and now it's completely gone. No big deal. I'll just start over. Yesterday, I set out to have a great day. I was going to get out and enjoy the sunshine and that whole ideal choice turned on me, like 5 minutes into our excursion. I ended up bringing everyone right down with me and now one of my sisters isn't talking to me. It's very frustrating. It was not my intention to bring my depression with me at all. That was supposed to stay home like a good little state of mind....but NO. I guess things will get better when I allow them to. That's all there is to it in a nut shell. Eventually I will stop pounding my fist on the floor and allow the Lord to do what He's trying to do with me.
So, I'll try to regale you with my great find yesterday, before things turned badly. I am a collector of sorts. I love all the crazy things they can be made with blown glass, and vases and pitchers and pictures and photography and all sorts of beautiful things. I have pieces from quite a few countries. I'm no where near what I'd like to have but what I do have is very special to me. So yesterday, I'm at this garage sale and I find this Haeger brand pitcher complete with the stickers of authenticity and stamped underneath for only....get this.....50 cents. Can you believe that??? There is a similar pitcher on ebay that has chips on the base for 35.00 so I'm thinking I made a pretty good purchase.
Garage sales have become the bane of my existence. It's like the only thing left that I can do outside. As long as I take it slow. All of my sisters enjoy this too. I can remember when my mother died and I went up to WA to say goodbye and ended up staying with my sister for almost a month. I took her to garage sales and she was hooked on the first try. So now, we all enjoy finding our little treasures.
I really liked what my other blog was, too bad I screwed it all up. It was full of witty sayings and bright and cheerful meanderings of my mind. Instead you got this. Sorry. However, I will leave you with one of my favorite verses out of the Bible. It's printed in red from John 15: 16 "You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you."
I guess I have some growing to do in order the bear the fruit that He has in mind for me. I pray that you too are fruitful and that your fruit should remain.....in the meantime, take care of each other and yourself. Love, Patty
I totally messed up. I've been writing my blog at night, then posting it first thing in the morning. I did something wrong and now it's completely gone. No big deal. I'll just start over. Yesterday, I set out to have a great day. I was going to get out and enjoy the sunshine and that whole ideal choice turned on me, like 5 minutes into our excursion. I ended up bringing everyone right down with me and now one of my sisters isn't talking to me. It's very frustrating. It was not my intention to bring my depression with me at all. That was supposed to stay home like a good little state of mind....but NO. I guess things will get better when I allow them to. That's all there is to it in a nut shell. Eventually I will stop pounding my fist on the floor and allow the Lord to do what He's trying to do with me.
So, I'll try to regale you with my great find yesterday, before things turned badly. I am a collector of sorts. I love all the crazy things they can be made with blown glass, and vases and pitchers and pictures and photography and all sorts of beautiful things. I have pieces from quite a few countries. I'm no where near what I'd like to have but what I do have is very special to me. So yesterday, I'm at this garage sale and I find this Haeger brand pitcher complete with the stickers of authenticity and stamped underneath for only....get this.....50 cents. Can you believe that??? There is a similar pitcher on ebay that has chips on the base for 35.00 so I'm thinking I made a pretty good purchase.
Garage sales have become the bane of my existence. It's like the only thing left that I can do outside. As long as I take it slow. All of my sisters enjoy this too. I can remember when my mother died and I went up to WA to say goodbye and ended up staying with my sister for almost a month. I took her to garage sales and she was hooked on the first try. So now, we all enjoy finding our little treasures.
I really liked what my other blog was, too bad I screwed it all up. It was full of witty sayings and bright and cheerful meanderings of my mind. Instead you got this. Sorry. However, I will leave you with one of my favorite verses out of the Bible. It's printed in red from John 15: 16 "You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you."
I guess I have some growing to do in order the bear the fruit that He has in mind for me. I pray that you too are fruitful and that your fruit should remain.....in the meantime, take care of each other and yourself. Love, Patty
Friday, May 2, 2014
It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright sun shining day
Good Morning Everyone,
I'm having a difficult time right now, which anyone who reads my blog knows. There is a person who I have lost respect for. Someone I once considered a friend, then this person began to treat my children badly. This person is still somewhat in the lives of my children. I have chosen to step away and not interfere since my children are adults and can make their own decisions now. But, it's very difficult to not judge this persons actions. I have done what I have to in order to keep the peace. This too has not been easy.
How often have I been the guilty one? How often have I put my needs above the needs of others? How many times did I knowingly not fight for what I knew was right simply to keep from making waves? Well the answer if often in the question. If I didn't need to ask it, then there would be no one the wiser. Right? We all make mistakes and mine are no different than the average person. I'm no less a sinner than the next person. I guess that whole not being in charge thing is still something I struggle with. But.......here's the kicker....I feel BETTER TODAY!!!
I know all of this makes no sense to you. I have been in such a funk, but I feel more hopeful today. Because once again, everything is new every morning. Today I have a choice, so do you. Today, I'm choosing to look toward the positive. I'm going to make an effort to not stay in my room and let my life slip by. It's supposed to be sunny today so I want to get out and stretch these legs. Let's face it, it's harder to be sad and depressed when the sun gives off so much life and warmth.
Have you watched the "Black Box"? It's about this Dr who has Bipolar disorder and sometimes she chooses to forego her medications. I find myself connecting with her character, because I too gave up a child to a family member for adoption and for mainly the same reasons, but not entirely. However, I'm not a liar. Also I don't have Bipolar, so no manic for me. Therefore any bad sexual encounters were just my own faulty thinking. But I do love her spontaneity, her dancing in the streets and not caring at all what others think.
As I've said before, remember each decision you make, makes a mark on either you or others. Try to concentrate on any positive thing. Which sometimes you have to look pretty hard......just stay away from the news,.....that will help trust me. This morning I leave you with one of my favorite verses.
Galations 6:9 "And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary." Be good to each other and don't neglect your own needs. Love, Patty
I'm having a difficult time right now, which anyone who reads my blog knows. There is a person who I have lost respect for. Someone I once considered a friend, then this person began to treat my children badly. This person is still somewhat in the lives of my children. I have chosen to step away and not interfere since my children are adults and can make their own decisions now. But, it's very difficult to not judge this persons actions. I have done what I have to in order to keep the peace. This too has not been easy.
How often have I been the guilty one? How often have I put my needs above the needs of others? How many times did I knowingly not fight for what I knew was right simply to keep from making waves? Well the answer if often in the question. If I didn't need to ask it, then there would be no one the wiser. Right? We all make mistakes and mine are no different than the average person. I'm no less a sinner than the next person. I guess that whole not being in charge thing is still something I struggle with. But.......here's the kicker....I feel BETTER TODAY!!!
I know all of this makes no sense to you. I have been in such a funk, but I feel more hopeful today. Because once again, everything is new every morning. Today I have a choice, so do you. Today, I'm choosing to look toward the positive. I'm going to make an effort to not stay in my room and let my life slip by. It's supposed to be sunny today so I want to get out and stretch these legs. Let's face it, it's harder to be sad and depressed when the sun gives off so much life and warmth.
Have you watched the "Black Box"? It's about this Dr who has Bipolar disorder and sometimes she chooses to forego her medications. I find myself connecting with her character, because I too gave up a child to a family member for adoption and for mainly the same reasons, but not entirely. However, I'm not a liar. Also I don't have Bipolar, so no manic for me. Therefore any bad sexual encounters were just my own faulty thinking. But I do love her spontaneity, her dancing in the streets and not caring at all what others think.
As I've said before, remember each decision you make, makes a mark on either you or others. Try to concentrate on any positive thing. Which sometimes you have to look pretty hard......just stay away from the news,.....that will help trust me. This morning I leave you with one of my favorite verses.
Galations 6:9 "And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary." Be good to each other and don't neglect your own needs. Love, Patty
Thursday, May 1, 2014
When the going gets tough, the tough...........
Yesterday I found out I'm having a granddaughter. Her name is Emma. She is so active inside her momma's tummy. It was just beautiful. I'm so thankful to be at the age where it is those little things that bring the most joy. So, why am I fighting depression like the world is falling apart at the seams? Maybe because it kind of is....if you pay attention at all to the news. Usually I can make myself feel better just knowing that according to the Bible, the good guys win. It truly helps. So why am I not spending more time in His Word? I have no idea.
It's never my intent to bring others down. However these past few days or more have been really challenging for me. I'm waiting for a court date for my disability claim. My attorney says very positive things but it's been over a year. It's really starting to weigh on me. Oh yeah, let's not forget that part. I've gained like 15 pounds, oh goody.
But, yes my NEEDS are met. I DO have people who love me. I'm not homeless or hungry. I have medications that do help with the pain even though they make me loopy enough that a job is out of the question. It's not like they take the pain away, but it takes my pain level from an 8 to probably a 5 or 6 on a scale of 1 to 10.
The trouble is, my whole routine has been tossed out the window. Don't get me wrong it was my choice to do that. And it had to happen eventually, but that particular decision has cost me more than I thought I'd have to pay. It's amazing really, one little decision can have a ripple effect that can lead you in a downward spiral. But, I believe that when things are at their worst, is when God is most effective. He is up to something in my life. I know this because I have absolutely NO control over what goes on from here. Believe me, knowing that does help me keep perspective. The song of Carrie Underwood's comes to mind "Jesus Take the Wheel". That seems to be exactly what's happened. Not knowing my destination is difficult for a control freak like me. I like plans and rhythm and knowing what's happening. I'm not very spontaneous anymore.
Please continue to pray for me to keep perspective and if any of you have a bit of advice or a verse that helps you when you're having times like these.....I'd love for you to share them with me. When the going gets tough, the tough get on their knees. But my knees are not very strong, so help me please. I need the strength that numbers can provide. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my rotten frame of mind. You are truly appreciated.
Until next time, take care.....all of you...Patty
It's never my intent to bring others down. However these past few days or more have been really challenging for me. I'm waiting for a court date for my disability claim. My attorney says very positive things but it's been over a year. It's really starting to weigh on me. Oh yeah, let's not forget that part. I've gained like 15 pounds, oh goody.
But, yes my NEEDS are met. I DO have people who love me. I'm not homeless or hungry. I have medications that do help with the pain even though they make me loopy enough that a job is out of the question. It's not like they take the pain away, but it takes my pain level from an 8 to probably a 5 or 6 on a scale of 1 to 10.
The trouble is, my whole routine has been tossed out the window. Don't get me wrong it was my choice to do that. And it had to happen eventually, but that particular decision has cost me more than I thought I'd have to pay. It's amazing really, one little decision can have a ripple effect that can lead you in a downward spiral. But, I believe that when things are at their worst, is when God is most effective. He is up to something in my life. I know this because I have absolutely NO control over what goes on from here. Believe me, knowing that does help me keep perspective. The song of Carrie Underwood's comes to mind "Jesus Take the Wheel". That seems to be exactly what's happened. Not knowing my destination is difficult for a control freak like me. I like plans and rhythm and knowing what's happening. I'm not very spontaneous anymore.
Please continue to pray for me to keep perspective and if any of you have a bit of advice or a verse that helps you when you're having times like these.....I'd love for you to share them with me. When the going gets tough, the tough get on their knees. But my knees are not very strong, so help me please. I need the strength that numbers can provide. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my rotten frame of mind. You are truly appreciated.
Until next time, take care.....all of you...Patty
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